They are sores crowned upon my skin
oozing smudgy memories
of a scorched childhood
nestled in restless dysfunction
like webworms on an oaken tree.
They are suspender straps
being pulled back by a nagging omen
pop-popping on my chest
again and again and again;
these bizarre ghosts catching me off-balance
a crystal-shattering whistle in the quietest hour
that seeps beneath my patience
because I know without a doubt
nothing can be done
to rid me of these ghosts.
@laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl (seeps, shadowy, scorched, smudgy, nestled, bizarre, ghosts, know, whistle, restless, balance, sores, straps)
29 comments:
I hope the ghosts dim if not vanish..nestled in dysfunction..like a cloak to protect from the shards of 'po-popping omens'..another powerful piece Laurie..the separated verses like the dysfunction and jarring itself perhaps..Jae
I hope the ghosts can be anesthetized if not gotten rid of completely! Well wordled, Laurie.
talk about a haunting piece...nice textures in this to set the tone of the piece...
I hope the ghosts are not debilitating. You write so well!
I like the pop-popping of the suspender straps; makes your ghosts sound a bit like schoolyard bullies. Perhaps they need to be laughed away; bullies hate laughter.
Oooh Laurie ... the "crystal shattering" a wonderfully chilling use of the words :)
As an adult, it's eye opening to discover how many people lived through such dreadful childhoods (I did too) but, it's also heart-warming to know that even though it was so dreaful, the past could not break us in the end, in fact, it is that past that shapes us.
Fabulous, sad, powerful write Laurie.
I also share my life with ghost. I like them, the Grandmothers.
Hi Laurie, for that flashy fiction, do you post to your own pages and then link it to them, or post what you've written in their comments (as you seem to have done) I'm a bit lost as to what ought to be done.
Thanks. B.
Who would we be without our ghosts. You may want to rid yourself of them, but I hope you keep a few - those that motivate you to write so beautifully. I really like this.
Wonderful writing, Laurie! I adore this: "They are suspender straps
being pulled back by a nagging omen
pop-popping on my chest
again and again and again." Spectacular!!!
Excellent wordling. Suspenders made me blink: in English English, those are what ladies use to hold up their stockings. Then I realised you meant what we call braces!
This is unsettling. The ghosts, the suspenders, the whistle... you've created something that stirs me into disquietude. Excellent write, Laurie.
"...web worms on an oaken tree they are suspender straps being pulled back by a nagging omen..."
OMG! Looooove 'web worms'and I can feel the suspender straps. They never go away but they don't physically hurt. The scars are on my psyche and on my soul.
I've decided to follow you and your eloquence.
One can visualize those suspender straps so well!
many great images and lines. pulled in by the title right away.
I attempt to blow raspberries at my ghosts. I think the laughter echos as I reflect on living without them...
Tell those suspender poppers you don't need them. If you've got any friendly ones...let them stay.
These words were tied together by those smudgy memories that seep beneath our patience...well done!
I'm not even sure what they are, but I love this line, its image:
webworms on an oaken tree
Beautiful.
I'm late to the party. I agree with everyone: the imagery, especially the sounds, works so well. And the line with 'webworms' -- fabulous.
Your words painted very real images...some that I could FEEL...
Very good ! Could use the Death Star to get rid of the ghost ;-)
Thanks everyone... I appreciate you so much!
I love the imagery, Laurie.
Pamela
I love the trip into the eerie past that the wordle words took you on! Fantastic!!
Laurie, I like "nestled in restless dysfunction" - that's a great line. And the image/sound of the whistle "in the quietest hour" - powerful.
Richard
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