Clanky
hanky-panky
flashing opinions
like cymbals clashing.
I
hear the echoes, smell
the beer, hide from the fear
with college textbooks
as reading pleasure
while I
lie alone
on the lawn
bikini clad and covered up
drinking in the atmosphere
away from the rumpus
ruckus at the pool
away from the dissent
having spent
my childhood years
in disaccord, discord,
feeling discarded.
Prompt inspiration: Imaginary Gardens- Mary’s Mixed Bag: Neighborhood
17 comments:
I could really picture this, Laurie. I laughed at textbooks as "reading pleasure." (Ya, sure.) You described the setting well. I remember lying out in the sun too in those days. I really liked the wording of the last two lines!!
I love how you have infused your writing with the sounds you remember. I can relate to the idea of college being a temporary escape from the troubles back home.
"like cymbals clashing"
and I can hear them throughout in a neighborhood potentially as peace-wrecking as home had been. The places I found to study were often the only alone places I had until I was able to move off campus. I love the effect of your alliterate "D"s as they bunch together at the end.
(I like your newish design here--so restful on he eyes.)
great write! I could even hear the pages turn!
I enjoyed visiting this neighborhood of yours Laurie. Thanks!
I could totally see this!
You took me there so effectively, Laurie. I love the bunched up b's too!
not sure what i would write if i tried to capture college...the strong smell of beer and well something bill clinton never inhaled...i remember sun bathing on the roof, that was pretty fun...did that a lot...dug up the back yard and built a sand volley ball court...got in trouble for the one...ha...
The good old college days. We find our own little corners. That was the time when couples moved around together ending in matrimonial bliss upon Graduation ('Commencement'in American lingo) Nice write Laurie!
Hank
You wrote with such vivid images I could see and feel the place you were in. I didn't get to go to college when I graduated high school. My escape from home came at nineteen when I got married.
The images and sounds and fears of university set against the images, sounds, discords and fears of home are so well done. Great piece.
You've infused this with great sensory images. Well done.
I'm sorry you felt the pain of being discarded ... no one should experience that emotion. Great write, Laurie!!
So well done, Laurie, but so sad for anyone going through those feelings. "Discarded" has to be one of the worst.
K
The use of language--the "clanky/hanky-panky", the "...disaccord, discord/feeling discarded"--is wonderful. The switch from college days to unsettled childhood is swift, but not abrupt. This is fine writing.
Since I'm another one that never made it to college, this really brings to mind time spent driving around the neighborhoods near Illinois State University seeing some of the girls working on their tans with a huge stack of books nearby. Love the word choices you made in this, especially the clanky-hanky-panky, rumpus-ruckus, and disaccord-discord-discarded. Wonderfully written!
I am sorry your felt this way...I do understand~
Great symbolism and imagery! College was the worst time of my life(family death)...
I loved clanky, hanky, panky ;D
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