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Monday, November 14, 2011

Danger on the Other Side

Beyond the hedge danger lurks
Burdens hide as leaves take fall
Mayhem in the murky ditch
Aroused by swirls of black mold
Algae morphing into asps
Ready to strike its victims--
Stay on this side of the fence

@laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration: With Real Toads (Orion poetry form), Poetic Asides PAD (Deadly/dangerous)
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15 comments:

  1. Janet MartinNovember 14, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    This is very clever, I'm smiling because this morning I really wanted to use the word 'asps' in a poem but I could not make it 'feel' right today:) So very well done again.

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  2. Maude LynnNovember 14, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    I will! Love this!

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  3. UnknownNovember 14, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    I thought the grass was always greener. . . .

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  4. ScarletNovember 14, 2011 at 6:11 PM

    Thanks for the warning ~

    Happy monday ~

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  5. Mary Ann PotterNovember 14, 2011 at 8:23 PM

    Yes, I believe I will stay on this side of the fence. What imagery! So nicely done.

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  6. MaryNovember 14, 2011 at 8:25 PM

    A good write, Laurie.

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  7. Jim SwindleNovember 14, 2011 at 9:31 PM

    This is simple, just scary enough without over-doing it. Excellent.

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  8. JinksyNovember 14, 2011 at 11:00 PM

    Algae morphing into asps

    A far cry from twinkling stars!lol

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  9. Kerry O'ConnorNovember 15, 2011 at 2:27 AM

    What an interesting turn your poem took. That last line rings true for many garden paths...

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  10. hyperCRYPTICalNovember 15, 2011 at 2:53 AM

    I'll definitely stay on this side of the fence!

    Anna :o]

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  11. Abin ChakrabortyNovember 15, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    loved it.the realistic details make the symbolic impact even greater.

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  12. Mary B. MansfieldNovember 15, 2011 at 11:27 AM

    Great images in this. Very nicely done!

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  13. Kay L. DaviesNovember 15, 2011 at 1:38 PM

    To me, this spoke of the fears of a mother watching her young child go out, unaccompanied, for the first time. The mother's imagination (algae becoming asps) and the single line she can utter, "Stay on this side of the fence."

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

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  14. Matt DNovember 15, 2011 at 11:01 PM

    I love the way one images fades into the next, and there is a general tension throughout. Very nice!

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  15. Dave KingNovember 16, 2011 at 4:52 AM

    Excellent advice and cleverly wrought.

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Thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to comment.