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Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Man (Blind) and My Demise

With hair like straw of wheat thatched upon a roof
and eyes as gray as stones beneath the earth

the man appeared in lightning’s fluttering flash
at the wooden gate where I stood, for what
forgotten on this night of blackened mist.

I watched his weathered hands grope the fencepost
with troubled breathing and bubbling spit

thousands of reasons rushed through my mind
on why I should turn and bolt
but
I
stayed.

The blind man with a raspy voice
asked if he could come inside awhile
sit and warm up at my cozy hearth

a fact I wondered how he knew, too late
I realized as my head bounced on rooted
ground, a dormant fear I had I felt rebuild
and I knew he was back
to
finish
me… sigh.

@laurie kolp

The Sunday Whirl (thatched, hearth, fluttering, breathing, flash, gate, stones, grope, rebuild, thousands, bubbling, forgotten)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aros, Day 7

Fog is a heavy cloak
of consternation
blinding
all perception
polluting
sanity
until
the son's light
lifts it.

17 comments:

  1. Very frightening ending, Laurie! Chills me to the bone.

    Here's mine:

    http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2012/01/two-wordles-from-same-words.html

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  2. I was putting money on him being from the tax office.

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  3. Brilliant building of suspense...

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  4. Oh wow... that was a sad ending. The stuff of horror.
    Well written Laurie~!

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  5. I Like the character sketch. You build a vivid scene through both your description and the actions.

    margo

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  6. Loved your description of the old man. "Eyes gray as stones beneath the earth" was very cool. Had me in suspense!

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  7. A dark tale? Or a playful dream?

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  8. A frisson of fear ripples up and down my spine! Delightful (although somewhat gruesome) read!

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  9. love the spin at the end, great story

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  10. Suspenseful write, Laurie. Well done.

    Pamela

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  11. Thought you were going with one of those "angels unawares" stories, Laurie. More like a serial killer incognito... *shivers*

    I like both poems, and I'm glad you included the second one to end the post on a positive note. :)

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  12. I wonder why the speaker stayed, that's incongruent, as well as her wistful tone, almost like she wanted it.

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  13. I could see the movie as I read. Excellent story telling! Quite a creepy story.

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  14. stunning, Laurie! i would never have been able to spot the prompt words ~ a very well-woven tale.
    Loved it!

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Thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to comment.