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Sunday, May 6, 2012

The Receipt

image: River Irwell by R.A.D. Stainforth

Emerging
in small print
answers to your sudden chill.

A river of fear
runs through my mind
this contrast like
rapids
pulling me under. 

Up and down
I bob
struggle for air
as I try to align
emotion and reality
with a dot of hope
a chance to clear the doubt
so we can drift forward once again.

Will you say our love is dead,
grind cobalt nerves
to fleshy slivers
that vibrate, pierce my heart?

Or will you reassure me
with that wink of yours
that hooks me every time?

©laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl 55~ cobalt, align, hook, vibrate, print, grind, contrast, emerging, chance, clear, dot, wink

Picture prompt: The Mag 116
at

45 comments:

  1. MarianneMay 6, 2012 at 8:42 AM

    Beautiful writing, Laurie. I especially loved "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers that vibrate, pierce my heart?"

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  2. MarianneMay 6, 2012 at 8:42 AM

    Beautiful writing, Laurie. I especially loved "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers that vibrate, pierce my heart?"

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  3. Tess KincaidMay 6, 2012 at 8:44 AM

    Dark and full of emotion...I especially like cobalt nerves...

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  4. brenda wMay 6, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    Oh Laurie, this is a compelling write. The third stanza makes me gulp.

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  5. annell4May 6, 2012 at 8:58 AM

    I like it all, but especially that last bit about the wink... there is a rascal somewhere.

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  6. margoMay 6, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    Ouch! The poem reflects well what almost every relationship must go through, at some point. Quite a contrast between the penultimate and final stanza. I like ending on a laugh of commiseration.

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  7. RavenMay 6, 2012 at 9:02 AM

    So like a river!

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  8. DaydreamertooMay 6, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    Pensive mood, unsure emotions, great imagery. Lovely.

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  9. Mimi FoxmortonMay 6, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    We *do* get hooked...don't we....? ;)

    Beautiful! And true!

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  10. Mariya KolevaMay 6, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    Laurie, your poem worded your emotions so well. Haunting and shaking! Thanks for sharing.
    Best, M.

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  11. flaubertMay 6, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    Laurie, I love the ending to this. I was feeling a bit sad, but the way you ended it with a wink made me smile. Well done.

    Pamela

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  12. Tarang SinhaMay 6, 2012 at 11:40 AM

    Beautiful composition!:)

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  13. Mr. WalkerMay 6, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    I like "so we can drift forward again" - that extension of the river metaphor. But then, that ending, where the "wink" - the action - trumps the words - "Will you say".

    Richard

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  14. BerowneMay 6, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    Face it, Laurie - you can write...

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  15. AnonymousMay 6, 2012 at 12:36 PM

    i like grinding the cobolt


    the river

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  16. AnonymousMay 6, 2012 at 12:36 PM

    i like grinding the cobolt


    the river

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  17. AnonymousMay 6, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    Wow, i don't think I've been to this site before. I have to say am pleased with your poem it's true to your realness that I so like in your writing. yet is flows so easy, make it a good read
    http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/blog/

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  18. christopherMay 6, 2012 at 1:31 PM

    (0)

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  19. Myrna R.May 6, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    Nice. I like your take on the "hook". Really enjoyed this.

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  20. AnonymousMay 6, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    cool, the uncertainity of certain lovers, the ebb and flow.

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  21. Brian MillerMay 6, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    smiles...i hope you get that wink, but one thing is for sure love needs those reassurances on occassion...smiles...

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  22. PeggyMay 6, 2012 at 7:04 PM

    I like this one --the wordle words just flow so well they are lost in the meaningfulness of the poem. Excellent.

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  23. Walt WojtanikMay 6, 2012 at 8:43 PM

    LK, the wonder of words is never far from your work, Dear. Good work, if I hadn't told you in a while.

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  24. WillowMay 6, 2012 at 9:19 PM

    I hate that your lover done did you wrong. Painful, scary, and I want her to walk away from the wink!

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  25. UnknownMay 6, 2012 at 9:30 PM

    Like the river metaphor, it works so well!

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  26. UnknownMay 6, 2012 at 10:59 PM

    I identified with the feelings of insecurity you painted in the words and rhythms of your poem. Your talent shines, Laurie. Thank you for sharing. =D

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  27. teriMay 6, 2012 at 11:17 PM

    What I like most about this piece is knowing I am blessed with a 32 year marriage that had those moments... a long, long time ago. Great writing.

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  28. Mystic_MomMay 6, 2012 at 11:36 PM

    So moving, and such a fine touch you have with words Laurie.

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  29. Rinkly RimesMay 7, 2012 at 1:26 AM

    A clever combination of two prompts.

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  30. Susan AndersonMay 7, 2012 at 3:29 AM

    grind cobalt nerves
    to fleshy slivers
    that vibrate, pierce my heart?

    Love that part.

    And I like your take with a river of fear...

    =)

    PS. Hope it all end with the wink!

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  31. JJ Roa RodriguezMay 7, 2012 at 8:11 AM

    lovely lines...

    Up and down
    I bob
    struggle for air
    as I try to align
    emotion and reality

    JJRod'z

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  32. JulesMay 7, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    There is that famous line about the use of the word cobalt. Relationships are indeed interesting...I see the new one of my youngest and his 'new' gal. But then I'm in the same 'boat' on the 'marriage river' - over thirty. And those winks are delightful, though at this point there is no fear or doubt (for me anyway). Lovely Wordle. I went a different route, and yet there was that telling 'wink' you can find in here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/trade-winds-sunday-whirl-55.html

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  33. Other MaryMay 7, 2012 at 11:40 AM

    This is such a good description of that feeling...that can go from one extreme to another in a flash...or a wink ;-)

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  34. Janet MartinMay 7, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    'Or will you reassure me
    with that wink of yours
    that hooks me every time?' Perfect!

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  35. Tumblewords:May 7, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    Hooked. Yes. A wonderfully fluid piece.

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  36. S.E.IngrahamMay 7, 2012 at 6:03 PM

    nice blend of the prompts and topped off by such a gorgeous photo ... very fine work Laurie

    http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/05/things-of-which-we-believe-ourselves.html

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  37. LynMay 7, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    Thank goodness for being hooked..how else could we go back?Lots of feeling here..and cobalt nerves..I savor that one!

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  38. Paula WankenMay 7, 2012 at 9:04 PM

    Ah, the "eyes have it" (so to speak)...in that wink. Well done.

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  39. Silent Otto May 8, 2012 at 12:44 AM

    Crossing the tricky Abyss of aligning emotion with "reality" . Such a living thing you have created with your words, Laurie

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  40. Dave KingMay 8, 2012 at 3:22 AM

    The central metaphor works very well... and yes, I thought you winked - and hooked me.

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  41. AnonymousMay 8, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    lovely..emotional...

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  42. Carrie Van HornMay 9, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    That wink is powerful indeed! Love this poem Laurie....awesome writing!!!

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  43. Mary B. MansfieldMay 9, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    Wonderful! Love the lines "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers."

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  44. CadMay 9, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    I think I felt the same sadness...

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  45. TrellissimoMay 10, 2012 at 9:03 AM

    Not only fishes get hooked, eh?

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Thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to comment.