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Saturday, June 16, 2012

It's Just An Illusion

To sketch a draft of illusion,
trace your finger across my chest-
latch on.

Refrain from
lingering
at any one spot.

Feel a current
strike your heart,
a blend of temper and lust-
watch congeal
as a crack of reality sets in.

String along spare phantasm-
the racket you’ve created
is just that.

©laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl 61 - blend, latch, chest, current, draft, string, crack, spare, temper, refrain, racket, trace, strike
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24 comments:

  1. Brian MillerJune 16, 2012 at 8:44 PM

    there is a nice sensuality riding just underneath the words in this...smiles....and a bit of playfulness as well...

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  2. AnonymousJune 16, 2012 at 10:43 PM

    Hi Laurie: I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award... Come check it out: http://meenarose.com/2012/06/16/the-versatile-blogger-award/

    As an added bonus you get to learn 7 random things about me :)

    As for your skin tingly illusion, Laurie... let's just say I am still smiling... so much riding beneath the surface of this one... to hesitant to life the covers, enjoying the illusion instead.

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  3. Benjamin ThomasJune 17, 2012 at 7:00 AM

    Hi Laurie!


    Excellent poem and take on the prompt.
    Skillfully woven words.

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  4. MaryJune 17, 2012 at 7:26 AM

    I enjoyed this, Laurie, especially the last stanza where I came up with different meanings depending on the way I interpreted 'racket.'

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  5. ireneJune 17, 2012 at 7:30 AM

    I like the teasing quality of this illusion speaking of itself. Nice, Laurie.

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  6. DaydreamertooJune 17, 2012 at 7:37 AM

    Very sensual, with an undercurrent of promise of more to come, maybe.
    Lovely write!

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  7. JulesJune 17, 2012 at 8:03 AM

    Thanks for your visit... :)

    While in modern language your verse reminds me of Shakespeare...
    to sleep perchance to dream
    What is real anyway? Though I had an inkling of what phantasm meant I looked it up just to be sure.

    Noticed on the side bar that you've had a poem included in a magazine...Congratulations!

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  8. ElizabethJune 17, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    Really like this Laurie, especially the playfulness and the sensory filled images. Wonderful use of the words.

    Elizabeth

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  9. brenda wJune 17, 2012 at 9:03 AM

    The first line fascinates me, Laurie. I find myself twirling it around in my mind.

    And there it is, at the end...a response to illusion's draft. Excellent write.

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  10. joanneJune 17, 2012 at 9:05 AM

    you are very gifted....I felt a tingling with the words 'strike a current with your heart'....beautifully done

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  11. MargoJune 17, 2012 at 9:21 AM

    I am fascinated. The poem gave me a completely different reading. I was mulling what I wanted to say about the strength of the speaker's tone, the underlying anger, the sharpness... and I start reading comments. I had to go back and reread the poem. I'm staying with mine :-)

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  12. HannahJune 17, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    Laurie...I'm amazed at how well wordled this is without a whole bunch of extraneous words. You've managed to create such a moving piece with such brevity! Well done!!

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  13. Adura OjoJune 17, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    Served right up, this packs a punch. Well crafted, Laurie.

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  14. CherylJune 17, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    Scintillating! I love the "racket you've created is just that" and "a crack of reality sets in". I hate when reality sets in. It makes a big crack in the universe.

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  15. flaubertJune 17, 2012 at 11:41 AM

    Love this, Laurie. From title to ending. Nice and strong.

    Pamela

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  16. UnknownJune 17, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    An economy of words; a multitude of meaning.

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  17. S.E.IngrahamJune 17, 2012 at 8:02 PM

    Such profoundness in such few words - very cool Laurie ... I like this a lot

    http://seingrahamsays.wordpress.com/2012/06/16/a-current-spare/

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  18. PeggyJune 18, 2012 at 12:31 AM

    I like the hints of sensuality this. Nice wordling!

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  19. When Words EscapeJune 18, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    I felt a sad emptiness from the speaker...perhaps the title set that tone for me.

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  20. WillowJune 18, 2012 at 6:45 PM

    Wow, I drifted through this illusion that ended craftily. Love it.

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  21. gautami tripathyJune 19, 2012 at 10:46 PM

    Very well crafted...Loved it!

    under the surface

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  22. Mr. WalkerJune 20, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    Just that idea of a "draft of illusion" intrigued me - and then you made it real - and then you came back to that idea of "phantasm". I like what you did with "racket" in the last stanza.

    Richard

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  23. libithinaJune 20, 2012 at 8:09 PM

    excellently crafted and weaved Laurie from the wordle word bank - Lib

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  24. Tumblewords:June 21, 2012 at 10:30 PM

    So vivid and vibrant. I loved each read!

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Thanks so much for stopping by and taking time to comment.