Virgin Feet at a Hoe-Down
by Laurie Kolp
Hungry eyes followed
hot pink Ropers,
skin-tight Wranglers
and a mid-riff shirt
with honks, grins and “How-DEE!”
The crowd was a’roarin’and music a’blarin’
“Welcome to the barefoot hoedown”
Sue’s heart began racing
her palms became sweaty
wiggling dotted red
toes in
feet
as
tender
as
a
newborn
babe
smarted at the stinging of the hay
needles piercing silky pillows
each step of the way...
"Grab your padner, DO-Si-Do!"
"Grab your padner, DO-Si-Do!"
Sue her out the
danced way of pain.
18 comments:
I had a great time at the dance! Pink boots indeed!
Great job working with the shape of the poem. Loved the last line, too.
Clever.
At least she doesn't have to worry about boots landing on her toes.
I've never heard of a barefoot hoedown. Have you ever been to one? I loved how you made the poem 'dance' around. Very creative!
Laurie, a good description of a hoedown. I went to a few in my childhood.
Pamela
Thank you all for your comments!
My muse must have been to a barefoot hoedown once or twice, but not me.
Good point- stepping on toes not quite as bad this way. Hmm...
The First Dance
I can't believe
I had the guts to ask you
out, let alone dance
with you as if I
knew how, me faking my moves
and dripping my sweat
between my wide eyes
as I stare at you, drink you
in as you move like
all that's beautiful.
More than the words i loved how you arranged them .. as id they too danced on their own tune ;)
Yee Ha--that was a fun one!!
What a great read. You capture that rowdy feeling and the way no amount of pain is going to stop the good times. Nice work.
The shape/line break work is clever.
Thanks for your comments!
I love what you did with this - it's all over the place, back and forth like at the hoedown, but carefully constructed. And it was great fun ro read!
Great form - love the way she dances her way out of the pain - very nice piece!
Ouch! Loved "needles piercing silky pillows," and the last line is perfect.
SO clever!
I agree with Robin - sooo clever! Such a very cool treatment of the prompt - dancing out of the pain not the least of it ...
Hey, a dance! Lovely!
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