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| Figure Eight, 1952, by Franz Kline |
On a pale cover
in my mind 8 years
of disappointment spray
melancholy memories
with erotic delusions
~~a sprinkle of powders~~
~~psychedelic powers~~
~~illusionary grasses~~
blanche rosy intellect.
Sometimes,
8 stray fibers
wrapped in
blingy gold
blingy gold
swing from the corner,
fling flaxen affiance-
hope that soon dissolves
like the 8 antacid pills
I stuff down my throat
on a daily basis
since you’ve gone.
©laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration:
Sunday Whirl #66: erotic, melancholy, rosy, gold, swing, powders,
pale, cover, spray, grasses, fling, stray
Picture prompt- The Mag 127
Picture prompt- The Mag 127
44 comments:
Ending so melancholy, since "you've gone...."
Ahh... a walk down memory lane. Very powerful imagery in this Laurie.
~~a sprinkle of powders~~
~~psychedelic powers~~
~~illusionary grasses~~
and ..loved the thought of 'blingy gold' because it seems the writer is so aware, after the fact, that all that glitters...
A really lovely write.
Nice play of figure 8...stray fibers, disappointments and antacid pills ~ the sad ending may come sooner than later ~
gorgeous laurie, you've gathered
sadness into a visceral bouquet
of color.
nice...i like the repetition of the 8s...iron in that 8 is the symbol of luck too...which is opposite of your experience...and the anx at the leaving...interesting touch too the mix of eroticism in the experience as well...
I like the organization around the number 8. The pathos here is palpable.
Dang....8 is more than I take! LOL This is gr8, Laurie. Clever write.
I hate to join the fray and snag one of your lines aside to make my comment, such as "I especially like the line, or good write, I loved the doo-dee-doo," but it has overpowered me, the rhythm and nuance of this string compels me to conform to the crowd with compliments:
spray
melancholy memories
with erotic delusions
cheers
I love how you tied it all together with the last few words. Annette at http://hoofprintsinmygarden.wordpress.com/
Powers and powders...the antacids...excellent stuff...
cool images, great ending
maybe you had a rough night too? "antacids".....I needed one last night.
I am speechless for a change, feeling all the desire and loss in a chaos and abyss that fades, or hopefully fades?
that's some trip if the psychedelic powders are black and white
dark feathers dead crows
Turned on its side, the number eight becomes the symbol of infinity. Perhaps, until we experience the upheaval of definite loss you so well describe here, we have no real understanding of just what infinity means. Yet, until we actually taste it, we can not really appreciate the fragility of all that is life. Thank you for this one,
Elizabeth
Glad pain isn't always infinite-
liquifying antacids and other difficulties I hope! Thanks.
There is so much loss and sadness in this. Definitely strikes a mood. I hope it is not biographical! But good writing.
Nicely tinged with melancholy.
I liked the build up of pathos and the ending in melancholy. Nicely built and nicely done...paints a great word picture. Thank you.
great write! i love the way to highlighted some of the lines too...
JJRod'z
Somewhat depressing and sadness around it and 8 pills daily. Sometimes our feelings overwhelm us. Great write Laurie!
Hank
Laurie, I'm captivated by the 8 stray fibres and that phrase "fling flaxen affiance" is so great. Like Elizabeth said, eight is the symbol of infinity.
Vivid imagery! I love the way you ended it...8 antacids :)
I enjoyed the light airy sounds of the powerful phrases strung together in your poem, Laurie. Thank you for sharing this emotionally charged work. Well done.
Laurie, You have put these words into a work of perfection.
Pamela
Your Wordle really makes those words work for their living. As someone else said in textspeak: gr8.
sadness written so well
An incredible stream of consciousness, that ends so poignantly...hoping for a recovery!
'blanche rosy intellect'
Is that what it is/was like to wear rose colored glasses. I did know a few folks who wore them in the 1960's.
You've captured that era for me in your verse. And I was just a misfit of that time.
Thanks for your visit.
You know, never did I think I'd enjoy a poem that included antacid pills in the mention - and here I did! That was beautiful. You have to be real talented for that!
I was instantly caught up in this, and loved every moment.
Some really fascinating imagery in this one Laurie. Between the powders, psychedelics, and grasses sounds like 8 wasted years of illusions. No more antacids, time to move on!
Blingy gold, your word choices make this piece just glow! Excellent! But sad too.
:D is for the mastery of this piece. It is warming to see your words flow, measured and deliberate. An ending that grips.
Love how you end it. Didn't expect it, just fit in perfectly
nice ending for sure....love the imagery..nicely done Laurie
Stellar!
8 Antacids to battle the anxiety rising in your throat and chest. I've been there.
with erotic delusions
~~a sprinkle of powders~~
~~psychedelic powers~~
~~illusionary grasses~~
These images captivated me. Without them I might have found the end a tad melancholic.
This is a wonderful tribute to "the golden firls" , Laurie, they are indeed infinite
... didn't expect that he would be gone. Beautifully composed, Laurie.
Yes, plug up the holes in memory that the "erotic delusions" flow in through. It is not the intellect that is fading, but the possibility of magic that makes the hope--the fibers you still find--Thank God for antacids! Standing under a bridge and screaming when the train passes over might also still that tension. Or a massage, a really good one.
This is quite an insightful poem and a beautiful read.
Excellent Laurie - love what you've done with the Wordle!
Anna :o]
Whoa! What a bitter pill at the end...
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