Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Always Right

Manipulate
the sheets,
tuck them in
just right.

Not a wrinkle
to be seen--
feet covered,
blanket tight.

A bitter
(sweet) ritual
you go over
each night

          (again and again and again)

that I know
to follow,
or lightning
might strike.


*

Poetic Inspiration~
Poetry Jam: Lightning
3WW: bitter, manipulate, tight
Poetic Asides PAD, Day 20: Always ___ (as title)

25 comments:

Brian Miller said...

yikes. kinda ominous end on it....the rituals that lead to bad things if we dont do it...

Susan said...

Absolutely! And I love the visual tightness of your poem itself! Yeah, you got out of line, but quickly constrained yourself.

thecourseofourseasons.com said...

I so understand the feeling - if I do everything just right, everything will be ok - my delusion of control.
thinking of you and your mom this morning - K

Heidi said...

This is so funny, Laurie! Watch out for that lightening!

Sumana Roy said...


oops it's better to follow.......a wonderful tight-knit craft...

Sheilagh Lee said...

Rituals are so important to us. I love the caveat you put lest lightning strike.

Helen said...

... Is this comparable to stepping on a crack? Loved this little foray into rituals.

Gabriella said...

We do think rituals are important and that every detail counts, or else lightening will strike, don't we? You have shown this well. And the last stanza is very effective, Laurie!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I so smiled at this. I so know the feeling of trying to keep it all tidy!!!!

Glenn Buttkus said...

One never fully knows of a poet's intentions, but considering the epic emotional jaunt you are on now regarding your mother, and the fact she just came home, I interpreted your verse to be a ritual you were doing tucking in your Mom, knowing that her clutch at life is tentative, that the lightning was death.

Mama Zen said...

I really like this.

Peggy said...

This is a fun one Laurie. I know those kinds of rituals! Glad to hear your mom is home.

Karen S. said...

I get a lovely feel between the lines, once I got my mother's voice of how I didn't do a good enough job, do it over! out of my head. Funny how some things stick with us forever isn't it?!

oldegg said...

How reminiscent this is of childhood fears and rituals to keep safe. However having the bedclothes all neat is something that is also a fetish with me...it's worked so far.

Mary said...

A bit unsettling when we realize we have to follow along even if the tradition does not make total sense. Thinking of you at this difficult time!

Linda H. said...

It starts off really sweet and then changes. tI like the switch part way through. Nice, tight work.

Bethe77 said...

It made me chuckle as I thought of how I had to make a bed as a child. But like everyone said it turned kinda dark. But ...dad use to make me feel that way if i didnt make the bed just perfect. Oh my! Blessings

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Laurie,

Being so caught-up in fradition, yet almost strangled by fear of deviating...I love crispy, clean sheets!!!!

Eileen:)

Vandana Sharma said...

better to be safe!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Routine, it has great comfort for us. Not that I am superstitous, touch wood.

Sue said...

Rituals of safety. I like this...and I guess I still do some of them!

Kathe W. said...

childhood rituals to keep fear at bay! Nicely done!

Robyn Greenhouse said...

rituals can be so helpful until they become a little too expected!

alan1704 said...

Powerfully written and the tension of the ritual is wonderfully captured. The hope that underpins everything we do.

Jae Rose said...

I can definitely relate to the sense of hopelessness the same punishing pattern can leave you with..and yet as you say it is sometimes the only thing that can be done..