Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Sushi

A TV in the examining
room sends a message-
LONG WAIT, a normal
expectation for a doctor's
office, yet you hope
to escape such a fate.

Three cooking channel shows
later, an affair with impatience
embattles your mind and you
dream of being free from this
torturous bind so you open
the door, peek into the hall-

WHERE IS EVERONE?
you thought you thought, but
you screamed those words,
slammed the door for
emphasis
as the ad-
Nadia G's Bitchin' Kitchen
flashes in front of your eyes
and you dream of sushi.

**



Prompt inspirations~
3WW- affair, expectation, free
Poetic Asides- Appointment poem
Real Toads- Words Count with Mama Zen- Power Images

34 comments:

Mary said...

Good one, Laurie. You described the frustration of waiting in a doctor's waiting room so very well.

I usually HATE the channel that they have the channel set at.(Especially if it is showing a soap opera.)

Susan said...


Wow, that is longer than ever! I love the "affair with impatience" and the scream down the hall and the door slam. In my life this doesn't have such a pleasant end, but I'll take this as a suggestion . . . A wonderful capture of a very real 2 hours.

Mama Zen said...

"an affair with impatience"

Yeah, I've been carrying on a hot fling with impatience for years!

aprille said...

The overriding [iconic?] image this conjures up is you sitting in the examining cubicle in a state of undress, shivering and waiting for the doc to return. No? :-)

jaerose said...

You capture the torture of the waiting room expertly..the cooking channel adds to the feeling of hellishness..jae

Altonian said...

A brilliant exposition of what appears to be a world-wide phenomenon - the long wait to see a doctor. And those damned TV programmes (usually with the sound turned too low, or off altogether) that are neither interesting nor entertaining.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Impatience is a Gemini thing!

Sheilagh Lee said...

you've captured the wait in a doctor's office perfectly.:)

Patricia Anne McGoldrick said...

Good one, Laurie!
I thought this type of waiting only happened here.:))

Daydreamertoo said...

LOL...You're going to eat the doctor??? Haha
Your frustraton was oooozing here.
Great piece Laurie. I'm smiling.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

The short version is specially a zinger........love the paper gown and sushi references.

razzamadazzle said...

The story is well-developed in the first, and it lets everyone relate to the situation, but I love the shorter version. It really packs a punch. I swear I need to cut out half the words in half the poems I write.

Brian Miller said...

haha...the doctor sushi...smiles...we actually watch quite a few cooking shows....and during a long wait is def not the time...make me too hungry

Margaret said...

So "Mama Zen" to make use only 25 words, but the shorter version packs a zing! Yes, life is a great source of inspiration. :)

Kerry O'Connor said...

I came back top read the condensed version and thought it got the message across very well - even more potently, though with less detail, than the first. Well done.

awakenedwords said...

I too like the condensed version perhaps better than the longer, but both are good.

PattiKen said...

Love the condensed version, "reduced" to intensify flavor. (Yeah, I've watched my share of those cooking shows too.)

flipside records said...

"Nadia G's Bitchin' Kitchen
flashes in front of your eyes
and you dream of sushi" ... Amen to that! I also dream of sushi as an escape ... that, and warm baths.

Day Dreamer said...

I enjoyed reading this thoroughly! Though I've never actually had Sushi!

hedgewitch said...

Lots of angst in the first one,Laurie and I enjoyed it, as well as the wit--but the second was both funny and had a real zap to it. Doctors are a necessity I guess...but what they're doing for those hour long waits is a complete mystery to me.

Lolamouse said...

A truly universal and hated phenomenon! I try to remember to bring a book so I can tune out the insidious TV! I've even wondered whether everyone had left for the day and forgot about me in my gown sitting in the exam room!

Steve E said...

Laurie, you have a great sense of humor. That will keep you young many years past youth (I know--grin!) ....AND, it is the key to spreading happiness and enthusiasm wherever you go. (Again, I know--grin!)


I like to carry a favorite book into Dr office. When they finally call me I say Dammmit, you didn't give me time to finish my book. When the Peeps laugh, I feel better also about the wait. On WAITING: Being retired helps ;)

Keep that humor--it is to love!
PEACE!
Steve

Helen said...

Hurry, hurry, hurry ... and wait! The condensed version of your poem is magic!

gabrielle said...

Enjoyed them both. The first version conveys the grind of waiting waiting waiting. In Mama Zen's condensed version, you turn the corner from angst to hilarity. Humor is always a good foil for the absurd.
I always carry a pair of earplugs to doctor's appointments and airports...

oldegg said...

Being a GP is a cow of a job, having studied for so long and eventually practicing in a crumby town with whining patients with all dreams of being a big I am shattered and subject despite jabs, to thousand ills presented to you at close quarters it is a wonder they show up at all in the surgery. I bet they are wishing they had a job with reasonable hours with friendly healthy people to deal with.

Great post though!

Hannah said...

After reading your first I was nodding in total agreement and then your second had me laughing out loud!! I love it and your sense of humor, Laurie!! :)

Nico said...

Excellent! I love both versions. I really like the use of internal rhyme in the longer version. Nice work here.

Ella said...

I too love your sense of humor! I liked both versions, but the shorter one spoke to me more~ ;D

Paige + Shauna said...

excellent and so true. i love to
watch bitchin' kitchen.

izzy said...

Boy I can relate to the (boiling) battle
in my guts with impatience! Rarely do I get inspiration from TV- BUT, once in a while- yup especially humor will get me rolling! thanks.

RMP said...

Nice! The condensed and uncondensed versions both. An "affair with impatience" is quite real for me.

I think you may also have helped me figure out what I'm having for dinner tonight.

Sheila said...

loved that condensed version. impatience is a tough one to let go of.

Dave King said...

Me too. Impatience and I are old time lovers. And there's a spark ot two left in the old dog yet.

I enjoyed both of these.

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