Sunday, May 6, 2012

The Receipt

image: River Irwell by R.A.D. Stainforth

Emerging
in small print
answers to your sudden chill.

A river of fear
runs through my mind
this contrast like
rapids
pulling me under. 

Up and down
I bob
struggle for air
as I try to align
emotion and reality
with a dot of hope
a chance to clear the doubt
so we can drift forward once again.

Will you say our love is dead,
grind cobalt nerves
to fleshy slivers
that vibrate, pierce my heart?

Or will you reassure me
with that wink of yours
that hooks me every time?

©laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl 55~ cobalt, align, hook, vibrate, print, grind, contrast, emerging, chance, clear, dot, wink

Picture prompt: The Mag 116

45 comments:

Marianne said...

Beautiful writing, Laurie. I especially loved "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers that vibrate, pierce my heart?"

Marianne said...

Beautiful writing, Laurie. I especially loved "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers that vibrate, pierce my heart?"

Tess Kincaid said...

Dark and full of emotion...I especially like cobalt nerves...

brenda w said...

Oh Laurie, this is a compelling write. The third stanza makes me gulp.

annell said...

I like it all, but especially that last bit about the wink... there is a rascal somewhere.

margo said...

Ouch! The poem reflects well what almost every relationship must go through, at some point. Quite a contrast between the penultimate and final stanza. I like ending on a laugh of commiseration.

Raven said...

So like a river!

Daydreamertoo said...

Pensive mood, unsure emotions, great imagery. Lovely.

Mimi Foxmorton said...

We *do* get hooked...don't we....? ;)

Beautiful! And true!

Mariya Koleva said...

Laurie, your poem worded your emotions so well. Haunting and shaking! Thanks for sharing.
Best, M.

flaubert said...

Laurie, I love the ending to this. I was feeling a bit sad, but the way you ended it with a wink made me smile. Well done.

Pamela

Tarang Sinha said...

Beautiful composition!:)

Mr. Walker said...

I like "so we can drift forward again" - that extension of the river metaphor. But then, that ending, where the "wink" - the action - trumps the words - "Will you say".

Richard

Berowne said...

Face it, Laurie - you can write...

zongrik said...

i like grinding the cobolt


the river

zongrik said...

i like grinding the cobolt


the river

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

Wow, i don't think I've been to this site before. I have to say am pleased with your poem it's true to your realness that I so like in your writing. yet is flows so easy, make it a good read
http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/blog/

christopher said...

(0)

Myrna R. said...

Nice. I like your take on the "hook". Really enjoyed this.

Paige + Shauna said...

cool, the uncertainity of certain lovers, the ebb and flow.

Brian Miller said...

smiles...i hope you get that wink, but one thing is for sure love needs those reassurances on occassion...smiles...

Peggy said...

I like this one --the wordle words just flow so well they are lost in the meaningfulness of the poem. Excellent.

Walt Wojtanik said...

LK, the wonder of words is never far from your work, Dear. Good work, if I hadn't told you in a while.

Willow said...

I hate that your lover done did you wrong. Painful, scary, and I want her to walk away from the wink!

Patricia Anne McGoldrick said...

Like the river metaphor, it works so well!

Linda said...

I identified with the feelings of insecurity you painted in the words and rhythms of your poem. Your talent shines, Laurie. Thank you for sharing. =D

teri said...

What I like most about this piece is knowing I am blessed with a 32 year marriage that had those moments... a long, long time ago. Great writing.

Mystic_Mom said...

So moving, and such a fine touch you have with words Laurie.

Rinkly Rimes said...

A clever combination of two prompts.

Sue said...

grind cobalt nerves
to fleshy slivers
that vibrate, pierce my heart?

Love that part.

And I like your take with a river of fear...

=)

PS. Hope it all end with the wink!

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

lovely lines...

Up and down
I bob
struggle for air
as I try to align
emotion and reality

JJRod'z

Jules said...

There is that famous line about the use of the word cobalt. Relationships are indeed interesting...I see the new one of my youngest and his 'new' gal. But then I'm in the same 'boat' on the 'marriage river' - over thirty. And those winks are delightful, though at this point there is no fear or doubt (for me anyway). Lovely Wordle. I went a different route, and yet there was that telling 'wink' you can find in here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/trade-winds-sunday-whirl-55.html

Other Mary said...

This is such a good description of that feeling...that can go from one extreme to another in a flash...or a wink ;-)

Janet said...

'Or will you reassure me
with that wink of yours
that hooks me every time?' Perfect!

Tumblewords: said...

Hooked. Yes. A wonderfully fluid piece.

S.E.Ingraham said...

nice blend of the prompts and topped off by such a gorgeous photo ... very fine work Laurie

http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/05/things-of-which-we-believe-ourselves.html

Lyn said...

Thank goodness for being hooked..how else could we go back?Lots of feeling here..and cobalt nerves..I savor that one!

Paula Wanken said...

Ah, the "eyes have it" (so to speak)...in that wink. Well done.

Kutamun said...

Crossing the tricky Abyss of aligning emotion with "reality" . Such a living thing you have created with your words, Laurie

Dave King said...

The central metaphor works very well... and yes, I thought you winked - and hooked me.

blackandwhiteheart said...

lovely..emotional...

Carrie Burtt said...

That wink is powerful indeed! Love this poem Laurie....awesome writing!!!

Mary Mansfield said...

Wonderful! Love the lines "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers."

Cad said...

I think I felt the same sadness...

Trellissimo said...

Not only fishes get hooked, eh?