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| image: River Irwell by R.A.D. Stainforth |
Emerging
in small print
answers to your sudden chill.
A river of fear
runs through my mind
runs through my mind
this contrast like
rapids
pulling me under.
rapids
pulling me under.
Up and down
I bob
struggle for air
as I try to align
emotion and reality
with a dot of hope
a chance to clear the doubt
so we can drift forward once again.
so we can drift forward once again.
Will you say our love is dead,
grind cobalt nerves
to fleshy slivers
that vibrate, pierce my heart?
Or will you reassure me
with that wink of yours
that hooks me every time?
©laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl 55~ cobalt, align, hook, vibrate, print, grind, contrast, emerging, chance, clear, dot, wink
Picture prompt: The Mag 116
45 comments:
Beautiful writing, Laurie. I especially loved "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers that vibrate, pierce my heart?"
Beautiful writing, Laurie. I especially loved "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers that vibrate, pierce my heart?"
Dark and full of emotion...I especially like cobalt nerves...
Oh Laurie, this is a compelling write. The third stanza makes me gulp.
I like it all, but especially that last bit about the wink... there is a rascal somewhere.
Ouch! The poem reflects well what almost every relationship must go through, at some point. Quite a contrast between the penultimate and final stanza. I like ending on a laugh of commiseration.
So like a river!
Pensive mood, unsure emotions, great imagery. Lovely.
We *do* get hooked...don't we....? ;)
Beautiful! And true!
Laurie, your poem worded your emotions so well. Haunting and shaking! Thanks for sharing.
Best, M.
Laurie, I love the ending to this. I was feeling a bit sad, but the way you ended it with a wink made me smile. Well done.
Pamela
Beautiful composition!:)
I like "so we can drift forward again" - that extension of the river metaphor. But then, that ending, where the "wink" - the action - trumps the words - "Will you say".
Richard
Face it, Laurie - you can write...
i like grinding the cobolt
the river
i like grinding the cobolt
the river
Wow, i don't think I've been to this site before. I have to say am pleased with your poem it's true to your realness that I so like in your writing. yet is flows so easy, make it a good read
http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com/blog/
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Nice. I like your take on the "hook". Really enjoyed this.
cool, the uncertainity of certain lovers, the ebb and flow.
smiles...i hope you get that wink, but one thing is for sure love needs those reassurances on occassion...smiles...
I like this one --the wordle words just flow so well they are lost in the meaningfulness of the poem. Excellent.
LK, the wonder of words is never far from your work, Dear. Good work, if I hadn't told you in a while.
I hate that your lover done did you wrong. Painful, scary, and I want her to walk away from the wink!
Like the river metaphor, it works so well!
I identified with the feelings of insecurity you painted in the words and rhythms of your poem. Your talent shines, Laurie. Thank you for sharing. =D
What I like most about this piece is knowing I am blessed with a 32 year marriage that had those moments... a long, long time ago. Great writing.
So moving, and such a fine touch you have with words Laurie.
A clever combination of two prompts.
grind cobalt nerves
to fleshy slivers
that vibrate, pierce my heart?
Love that part.
And I like your take with a river of fear...
=)
PS. Hope it all end with the wink!
lovely lines...
Up and down
I bob
struggle for air
as I try to align
emotion and reality
JJRod'z
There is that famous line about the use of the word cobalt. Relationships are indeed interesting...I see the new one of my youngest and his 'new' gal. But then I'm in the same 'boat' on the 'marriage river' - over thirty. And those winks are delightful, though at this point there is no fear or doubt (for me anyway). Lovely Wordle. I went a different route, and yet there was that telling 'wink' you can find in here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/trade-winds-sunday-whirl-55.html
This is such a good description of that feeling...that can go from one extreme to another in a flash...or a wink ;-)
'Or will you reassure me
with that wink of yours
that hooks me every time?' Perfect!
Hooked. Yes. A wonderfully fluid piece.
nice blend of the prompts and topped off by such a gorgeous photo ... very fine work Laurie
http://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.ca/2012/05/things-of-which-we-believe-ourselves.html
Thank goodness for being hooked..how else could we go back?Lots of feeling here..and cobalt nerves..I savor that one!
Ah, the "eyes have it" (so to speak)...in that wink. Well done.
Crossing the tricky Abyss of aligning emotion with "reality" . Such a living thing you have created with your words, Laurie
The central metaphor works very well... and yes, I thought you winked - and hooked me.
lovely..emotional...
That wink is powerful indeed! Love this poem Laurie....awesome writing!!!
Wonderful! Love the lines "grind cobalt nerves to fleshy slivers."
I think I felt the same sadness...
Not only fishes get hooked, eh?
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