A (captain?) crunch of numb-
ness, not numbers, silly; don't you
know I'm a poet? No, numb
words dilute this page, lame
words, so terse, like, ugh, "it"
rains orphaned commas ,,,,,
that won't cooperate, no,,,,,
They jump around like love-
less passion, horny college
coeds, bed-to-bed, hmm,
want some humble pie?
Ask an English teacher
about commas; less drama
will occur when you concur,
the numbness on the screen
will dissipate when those
crappy commas find their place.
~~
Poetry inspirations~
Poetry Jam: Usual/Unusual
3WW: cooperate, lame, terse
PU Verse First: Passion
38 comments:
Ha, love it, have, a, great, day,,,,
They jump around like love-
less passion, horny college
coeds, bed-to-bed, hmm,
want some humble pie?
hahaha...yes, that....smiles...
i guess i would say the same for elipses, lol...not a big punctuation kinda guy...i do know the old rule of putting a comma where you want a pause is false...grad papers are bringing me a bit more in line...
Commas are always an enigma when writing poetry. Most often I believe the fewer the better, but sometimes they are needed. I don't follow the same rules in writing poetry that I do in writing prose. In poetry, I think, punctuation is often not the USUAL; and that is ok with me! Smiles.
I loved that third stanza, Laurie! Wonderful similes.
I am the worst offender when it comes to commas, ellipses, hyphens, etc. This brought a feeling of chagrin as I read it, Laurie!
Love the word play on occur and concur ... so true! Great poem!
Very funny! That's what I like about writing now for myself and not grades- punctuation ,as I please!
I have often faced this dilemma! I also thought there shouldn't be any commas, question marks or full stops in poetry. But sometimes I still persist. I should try to be more consistent I should think. I don't know how! At the moment I just based it on my gut feeling! Good thoughts Laurie!
Hank
I liked this - nicely whimsical.
I don't believe in standardized punctuation in poetry - but then, I don't believe in standardized *anything* in poetry. Worrying about the legality of commas squashes creativity.
Wonderful word play! it reminded me of salinger's bouquet of parentheses: (((()))) Excellent!
Hahaha crappy commas.
Crappy commas, ditzy dashes, proper periods ... I never know what to do!
Love your poem
Oh I know, sometimes, it seems that commas, just want to take over the entire world!
Not wishing to sound very white and middle aged but there was a hip-hoppy feel to this..edgy..wry..(and for me it's not commas it's ellipses...) ;)
I love this humorous poem, especially the same lines Brian quoted!
I love the playful romp of your commas,,,,, lol
Mine are unruly teens, too...
Fun, fun poem!
<3 it
A poem about commas, now there’s a novelty.
It’s very good.
LOL! They do distract the aware eye, don't they?
a lot of fun
hahahah so right on
and well written Laurie.
great take on the passion prompt!
Oh those wild and crazy commas! When in doubt, take them out (and reread to make sure it still makes sense!) They were always a big issue for me when I was learning news writing.
And thereby hangs the enigma of it all. Is life just one big comma awaiting a Full-stop, I like it.
very clever and pleasing to the tongue when read aloud.
For commas (and other punctuation marks) without rhyme or reason, just open any page of the King James Version of the Bible!
Punctuation is a somewhat unsatisfactory way of giving the correct meaning and inflection to the written word. It doesn't help that our language and speech are both flawed as well.
Many a true word written in jest -- or was it? Whatever. Got my morning off to a good start.
Love the playful turn of the commas....I concur, they will find their rightful place ~ Smiles ~
Some commas are used sparely, carefully, others just thrown in there without much thought... kind of like prudes or horny co-eds. ha ha .
fun fun fun
as an editor I hate them / people either use, them, everywhere, or never use them though we all know they have their own place in the world of writing
also wanted to wish you a Happy Easter Laurie
Laurie,
It was nice to find a passionate poem, written with such grammatical style. A touch of correctness, added to the whole affair:)
Happy Easter,
Eileen:)
Loved the wordplay and wittiness here :)
I hope you have a good Easter weekend!!
A passion for language, then? LOL
Laurie, don't get me started on the improper use of semicolons!
I love the commas as bedhopping, mindless little nymphettes! Glad I found Poetry Jam,,,,,, if only to see this. Amy
I love it! Those crappy commas give me a fit also.
Love this poem,,I have thesameproblem,,,, :-)
Loved this unusual poem about commas.
oh my! they are a pain and easily passe'till one is passionate about a few gains in this ride!
lovely..superb...loved it...
Laurie--this was so much fun--commas are a bunch of trouble makers--thank you for calling them on it :-)
How many commas in comedy? ,D
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