Lunch, George Tooker, 1964, Columbus Museum of Art |
genuflect and take a seat on pine needles
and bark, a meeting of sorts among the
villagers. The women bake goodies and
pies crusted with subtle ingredients
that include vanilla and pecans, so divine
they melt in your mouth and leave you
wanting for more. This particular night
two amorous preteens sit in the dark
corner kissing and laughing without an
inkling of the developing uproar. A man
laden with problems too heavy to carry alone-
unemployment and addiction, loss of family
and home- reaches insanity’s precipice,
grabs the first thing he can find and hurls
it across the room like a shot put. The
trivet flies by the lovers and shatters
around them. They stand up faster than
popping corn and run to their parents
thinking they’re in trouble and ashamed
while the man scatters in the woods.
@laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration:
Magpie Tales (photo)
The Sunday Whirl (A wordle~ amorous, subtle, inkling, laden, genuflect, vanilla, mission, bark, crusted, precipice, December, trivet)
40 comments:
Laurie, a creative piece of fiction and in retrospect, the missile of the flying trivet and the ashamed preteens make for a somewhat funny ending. It's a challenging wordle you gave us. :)
Your title and first few lines had me thinking this was going to end much more disastrously than it did. I'm glad the missile was only a trivet. Great poem. :)
Well, that was quite a tale. One never knows what goes on in the dark corners of those missions.
Very creative. Christmas is the time when so many on the edge topple over it. Especially lonely people.
Great write from you.
The juxtapostion of couple and man is brilliant. I got lost in the story, and loved how you wrapped it up with the couple internalizing shame. Interesting read. You rose to the words-- Brava!!
Ah, Laurie, you've shown us how it should have been done. I take my hat off to you.
PS my trivet is of heavy brass, so I reckon it's the wall that would have been in smithereens.
the man scatters in woods...nice...i imagine he feels as if his world is crumbling any way...like the contrast of him against that of the kids...
Thanks for giving us this great puzzle of wordle words, Laurie! You have used them well in your fascinating tale.
Laurie - great storytelling. Aptly illustrates how we are so often in our own little world even within our community.
Thank you. I was kicking myself for choosing such hard wordle words.
Oh, those poor startled--and terrified--kids! :)
Whirling Haiku
I, too, expected a worse missile than a trivet!
I love wordles, how they shove the muses down some odd alleys. Your poem is lovely and strange. I'm tickled.
A lovely piece with a delicious twist,
containing madness, despair, and
young love. We all remember those
first fumbling moments of pre-teen
hormonal rushes, trumped by the
embarrassed red cheeks when anyone
refocused us on the moment.
Laurie, nicely juxtaposed piece. That word trivet was almost impossible to use. Thanks for the challenge this week :)
Pamela
Rich and intriguing!
An excellent, original read.
Ha ha ha! I like the ending. :)
Unique...nice write...
A wonderful story vividly told. Nice!
special perspective,
beautiful magpie.
Laurie, no self-flagellation! These were excellent words, and your take on them, the scene... it was in turn traditional, romantic, terrifying, and then simply sweet. Loved it. Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/12/05/christmas-tree-with-a-schmear/
Sending something 'flying'- got my attention, thanks.
good write! :-)
JJRod'z
I, too, was wondering how you were going to work a missile into this picture prompt! Must say, well done! Loved the story you wove. Great characterizations, felt quite real.
You created a great story based on the photo this week ...
I love it! Boy I sure have felt guilty like that before :)
Sad to say, this could have been taken from any one of a spate of newspaper articles. More and more, there are physical altercations taking place within religious sanctuaries. An interesting write.
A wonderful piece of writing Laurie.
To me the line -'A man
laden with problems too heavy to carry alone' spoke volumes.
Laurie this is brilliant! :-)
Those poor kids probably didn't know what hit them; I'm sure there are many man and woman these days close to the edge of breaking. Great write!
a wonderful and original take on the prompt, Laurie!
♥ dani
Unfortunately, this is a daily headline..you really nailed it in a very talented way!
The approach of Christmas can do this to vulnerable people - as I know from working with them. Timely and moving.
ha! Nice when teenagers run to their parents, though.
Moving tale of angst and its consequences...
Excellent, well crafted tale, Laurie.
I liked it, you said so much, and yet used few words, really.
Clever write, very clever. Love it.
Anna :o]
Fabulous piece Laurie - you've picked up so many threads here
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