~ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom~
It’s rapid fire, my heartbeat
sending rare pulsations to my fingertips
a grip I lose within this burning spasm
tumbling down the stairs a broken doll.
These shards of icy glass blowing
feel like prickly penetration poking
a downpour on my clammy skin
or bark from the sequoia rasped upon
defiled and released upon, this staunch enigma
spacious as it seems and weightless
yet confined within earthly walls reaching
to the sky, these elements I’ve built around Fort Me.
~ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom~
@laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl (rapid, glass, spacious, pulsations, weightless, elements, tumbling, grip, enigma, spasm, rare, released)
Also posted @ Imaginary Garden with Real Toads Open Link Monday 12-12-11
ARCHIVES.....FIRST DRAFTS.....
27 comments:
That was a challenge, and you met it head on!
or bark from the sequoia rasped upon defiled and released upon, this staunch enigma ka-boom!
There is something in those lines I can't put my finger on or express but I know I like them.
I like the usage of "Fort Me". Have you noticed how close Fort Me is to Fort Laurie(Me) is to Fort Laramie? :)
A very different take on the wordle from the other poems I've read so far, Laurie. I like it. We all have a tendency to build Fort Me, and we have to be careful not to let it become our prison.
Thank you.
Very good use of the prompt. Hard not to become hard-hearted when life keeps knocking us down isn't it. But, I suppose we have to be knocked down so that we learn how to get back up again. Fort Me, a good description.
Lovely wordle Laurie.
Holy Cow, Laurie! This blew me away. Seriously great writing.
The connection of earthly elements and emotion is breathtaking.
I echo Brenda here, Laurie, Holy Cow!
Great use of the words.
Pamela
wow Laurie - this is amazing - from your very excellent title which I think is inspired right on through to the end ... just fabulous!
Wow, I'm impressed by this emotional shell. You're surprising, Laurie.
I love this Laurie! It feels 'alive' and very potent.
I especially liked the starting and ending ~ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom~
- they worked so well.
Gosh! You have made amazing use of the words, Laurie.
I love the broken doll tumbling down the stairs...or should I say, I loved the image...poor doll! But not as much as I loved the very imaginative notion of "Fort Me" under fire. So unique!
brava, Laurie! very well done with the prompts and i also love "Fort Me." ♥
brilliant! wonderful poem.love the idea too.reminded me a bit of something I wrote a couple of years back.
yikes, be careful on those stairs!
I hope Fort Me doesn't repel borders... lol
Don't know if I can top the praise already given, this poem was amazing!
A tremendous piece of writing Laurie.
Like others I thought the phrase 'Fort Me' was inspiring.
The use of the heartbeat was very effective, and the ending on Fort Me (particularly after the 'staunch enigma') really brought the poem to a unassailable full stop. Liked it.
A great experience reading this.
I loved how you used the prompt words.
Enjoyed this a lot.
"around Fort Me". Wow, I can't even imagine putting all these words together and you make it look easy.
i built a fort around me and now it has to come down
How you managed to utilize the words so well! Yes, we take hard knocks in life. And we're all the richer by it!
Hank
I didn't see it coming, despite the title...
"confined within earthly walls reaching
to the sky, these elements I’ve built around Fort Me"!
Wow, Laurie, "walls reaching to the sky, these elements I've built..."
Awesome.
K
I love Fort Me. I once lived there too:) Great response to the wordle...difficult words!
At times, Laurie, i think we all need "Fort Me." Visiting from RT tonight, as I did not do the wordle this week.
Clever clever use of "Fort Me". Great work Laurie! :)
Post a Comment