Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Saying Goodbye


In our embrace,
your breath

a touch
of life and love.

Uncertainty,

the tear
you wiped away.

~

Prompt Inspirations~
Poetry Jam: Goodbye
PU Verse First: The Function of Freedom

32 comments:

Mary said...

This kind of goodbye is so very hard, Laurie. The insecure kind when you don't know the future.

Lisa A. Williams said...

A very moving poem. Saying goodbye to someone you truly care about is such a difficult thing to do.

Brian Miller said...

moving, particularly for its simplicity...i wonder too why we doubt love at times...one that brings us life and love...but we do need that reassurance....

asteria's canvass said...

Visual as well as serene..

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Poignant! I like the simplicity and restraint of your writing here.

Susan said...

What a poem! It moved me, fraught with ambiguity as it is, I thought of quitting smoking--15 months ago now--how much harder life is without its help swallowing emotions--how I am free. And then of course, there is "Bobby McGee"! "Freedom is ...."

R. Burnett Baker said...

Many deeper meanings of freedom, in so few, powerful words.

Panchali said...

The concluding part is so poignant. Saying goodbye is never easy..Beautiful.

moondustwriter said...

A poignant touch
a painful goodbye
Lori your expression is eloquent is fragrant.

Though a rose must die
today it lives
as beauty...

VaNdAnA ShArMa said...

A few words give the gist of goodbye

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This made me think of the single tear that rolled down my grandma's face as she lay dying, when I whispered in her ear "Thanks for all the love." Poignant write, Laurie. Beautiful.

Robyn Greenhouse said...

All these good bye poems are weighing on my heart!
your breath
a touch
of life and love~
Beautiful

Wendy Bourke said...

Your words capture the fragility of the moment perfectly.

Kelvin S.M. said...

...aww... if only there's no need to read the second part of your poem Laurie... but then... goodbyes could mean another hello... smiles... short & excellent!

kaykuala said...

A goodbye with a tear is a good goodbye.For the relationship is still intact! Nicely Laurie!

Hank

Helen said...

Witnessing death, saying goodbye brings sadness, pain but also enlightenment and peace. Lovely poem.

Akila G said...

Subtle expression of a deep pain. Lovely poem

aka_andrea said...

and isn't pain sometimes just that simple? the wiping away of that tear really hits it. very nicely done.

alan1704 said...

Wonderful, the tear you wiped away, i can feel this.

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Laurie,

You have set the whole scene with you well chosen words...A dreadful and impacting sadness, that final touch..

Eileen

Congratulations Laurie with your book contract:)

Stacy Lynn said...

the last three lines are haunting! lovely, heartfelt poem of love and loss.

Mama Zen said...

Beautiful!

mindlovemisery said...

Simply gorgeous =)

Susan Lindquist said...

Oh, the uncertainty of goodbyes ... this is so raw in its simplicity, Laurie. I'm almost ashamed of how I blathered on in my piece ...

artbyrae said...

just breath...that is all you can do when good- by is good- by forever. Not knowing if you will meet again

Kathe W. said...

wonderful simplicity. Gorgeous poem.

Suzy said...

I hate goodbyes. But every word of your poem is so beautiful.
Dropping by from Verse First

Dave King said...

Seven short lines, and it says it all. Beautiful.

Susie Clevenger said...

I so hate goodbyes. I feel the emotion in this.

SaraV said...

Beautifully done Laurie, you perfectly captured that pain and insecurity.

Jacqueline Howett said...

Goodbye is so final. All the times spent together, whether good, bad or indifferent suddenly hit in one powerful instant, often rendering one speechless. Loved the emotion expressed in a tear, and how your poem says so much in so few words.

Janet Karam said...

You capture this sort of goodbye so well. Never easy and where any words seem insufficient. I love the way you captured that silence, the feelings are there with so much that can't be said. Wonderful.