ARCHIVES.....FIRST DRAFTS.....
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Let's Talk About It
Silence like a cancer grows*
a weed within the mind's confines
that weaves obsession in the throes
of overtaking thoughts benign.
Too distraught to regulate
or yank habitual response,
this cancer of a sealing fate
soon consumes the s(u)n's blossoms.
*Simon & Garfunkel
**
Edited to elevate for Verse First:
watching weeds
thread through your mind
you find cancer
**
Poetic Inspiration~
Poetry Jam: The Sound of Silence
PU VerseFirst: Edit to Elevate- See Below
3WW: distraught, habitual, regulate
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33 comments:
Amazing shot Laurie! 3 prompts in one go!
Hank
Love the piece, especially the s(u)ns bloom! Well done.
...i wish silence to stay for long but no... not yet to the extent i will bid goodbye to everything... i have still more to keep with silence in me than let silence keep me in rest... smiles.... thoughtful & with fresh considerations... smiles...
Silence can indeed be a terrible thing to some people. I'm lucky in that I like silence; should have been a librarian. lol
Nice writing.
beautiful and so true
WOW - three prompts at once. Applause!!!!! I resonate with this poem - when one's thoughts circle with no outlet, they can take up a lot of room in one's head!
rather haunting the cosuming of that sun...that silence growing like a cancer is an arresting image as well...but so true as well in how insideous it can be...
Laurie,
A depthful consideration within the sphere of silence...It is a lonely spot at times, when nothing can urge a response or break in mood..The relief when an outlet arrives, is fantastic...
Great writing...
Eileen
Laurie, I think this shows what happens when silence is carried to extremes. Not a good thing! Powerful writing.
Comparing silence to a cancer growing works well. Your wording and imagery is good, the rhyme perfect. I like this one very much. It's so true.
hearing Simon and Garfunkle in the background was an extra bonus
Very profound piece Laurie - the subject may have been "ordinary" but the result was not
Excellent
Wonderful Laurie! Silence can be all too consuming if it continues for too long.
wonderfully written wise words.
Beautiful writing as always!!
Your edited version with its haiku like form and punch, blew me away! LOVE it!
Have always liked the S & G song. Was afraid of silence for years, now often prefer it in many ways. Impressed with the combination of three prompts, and your edited version is quite powerful.
Elizabeth
Powerful message in your poetry Laurie ... very nice.
weeds thread through your mind…such a disturbing growing visual, Laurie.
Very powerful piece...poignantly close to the skin. Hits one hard...
Nicely done, Laurie.
On first reading this through it seemed too close to the bone for me just now, but coming back to it I find it's perhaps confiding new and valuable insights.
Laurie, love how you artfully combined "cancer" with "benign" clever! and quite impressive to also combine three prompts into one poem:-)
This words're really sound like art! Bravo!
Haunting. Silence has always been a friend to me, but your take on it is really intriguing. I enjoyed reading it.
very powerful
and sad
well done
JzB
I loved the weed imagery "in the mind's confines" --- very unique and well-chosen for "silence like a cancer grows."
hello Laurie......thanks for sharing your words
Ha ha ha, brilliantly done.
So true that silence that moves into obsession becomes destructive. btw Love that S&G song.
Suzy at Reflections of my soul
Silence can take on a life of its own. We can grow too comfortable with it sometimes.
Love this, get those weeds rooted out of our lives. Brilliantly capturing the trap of silence.
Great work, Laurie. The flow of the first version is lyrical and entertaining, even though the topic is dark. The superbly pared down version conveys meaning with equal power. I love the brevity. Well done.
Great work, Laurie. The flow of the first version is lyrical and entertaining, even though the topic is dark. The superbly pared down version conveys meaning with equal power. I love the brevity. Well done.
...a sealing fate, indeed! Very dark, but it is quit affective.
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