Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Let's Talk About It


Silence like a cancer grows*
a weed within the mind's confines
that weaves obsession in the throes
of overtaking thoughts benign.

Too distraught to regulate
or yank habitual response,
this cancer of a sealing fate
soon consumes the s(u)n's blossoms.


*Simon & Garfunkel

**

Edited to elevate for Verse First:

watching weeds
thread through your mind
you find cancer

**

Poetic Inspiration~
Poetry Jam: The Sound of Silence
PU VerseFirst: Edit to Elevate- See Below
3WW: distraught, habitual, regulate

35 comments:

kaykuala said...

Amazing shot Laurie! 3 prompts in one go!

Hank

Mystic_Mom said...

Love the piece, especially the s(u)ns bloom! Well done.

kelvin s.m. said...

...i wish silence to stay for long but no... not yet to the extent i will bid goodbye to everything... i have still more to keep with silence in me than let silence keep me in rest... smiles.... thoughtful & with fresh considerations... smiles...

paulandrewrussell said...

Silence can indeed be a terrible thing to some people. I'm lucky in that I like silence; should have been a librarian. lol

Nice writing.

Sheilagh Lee said...

beautiful and so true

Sherry Blue Sky said...

WOW - three prompts at once. Applause!!!!! I resonate with this poem - when one's thoughts circle with no outlet, they can take up a lot of room in one's head!

Brian Miller said...

rather haunting the cosuming of that sun...that silence growing like a cancer is an arresting image as well...but so true as well in how insideous it can be...

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Laurie,

A depthful consideration within the sphere of silence...It is a lonely spot at times, when nothing can urge a response or break in mood..The relief when an outlet arrives, is fantastic...
Great writing...

Eileen

Mary said...

Laurie, I think this shows what happens when silence is carried to extremes. Not a good thing! Powerful writing.

Linda H. said...

Comparing silence to a cancer growing works well. Your wording and imagery is good, the rhyme perfect. I like this one very much. It's so true.

moondustwriter said...

hearing Simon and Garfunkle in the background was an extra bonus
Very profound piece Laurie - the subject may have been "ordinary" but the result was not
Excellent

Lisa A. Williams said...

Wonderful Laurie! Silence can be all too consuming if it continues for too long.

Mishla M said...

wonderfully written wise words.

Jules said...

Beautiful writing as always!!

aspiritofsimplicity said...

excellent

wabisabipoet said...

Your edited version with its haiku like form and punch, blew me away! LOVE it!

rain-wishing said...

Have always liked the S & G song. Was afraid of silence for years, now often prefer it in many ways. Impressed with the combination of three prompts, and your edited version is quite powerful.

Elizabeth

Helen said...

Powerful message in your poetry Laurie ... very nice.

ninotaziz said...

weeds thread through your mind…such a disturbing growing visual, Laurie.

Panchali said...

Very powerful piece...poignantly close to the skin. Hits one hard...
Nicely done, Laurie.

Dave King said...

On first reading this through it seemed too close to the bone for me just now, but coming back to it I find it's perhaps confiding new and valuable insights.

Loredana Donovan said...

I think you mean the kind of silence that is secretive, punishing, non-communicative ... yes, that indeed can be destructive.

SaraV said...

Laurie, love how you artfully combined "cancer" with "benign" clever! and quite impressive to also combine three prompts into one poem:-)

humbird said...

This words're really sound like art! Bravo!

Anne Viva (Anne The Obscure) said...

Haunting. Silence has always been a friend to me, but your take on it is really intriguing. I enjoyed reading it.

Jazzbumpa said...

very powerful
and sad

well done

JzB

Mary Ann Potter said...

I loved the weed imagery "in the mind's confines" --- very unique and well-chosen for "silence like a cancer grows."

Wayne Pitchko said...

hello Laurie......thanks for sharing your words

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Ha ha ha, brilliantly done.

Suzy said...

So true that silence that moves into obsession becomes destructive. btw Love that S&G song.

Suzy at Reflections of my soul

LadyCat said...

Silence can take on a life of its own. We can grow too comfortable with it sometimes.

alan1704 said...

Love this, get those weeds rooted out of our lives. Brilliantly capturing the trap of silence.

Kim Nelson said...

Great work, Laurie. The flow of the first version is lyrical and entertaining, even though the topic is dark. The superbly pared down version conveys meaning with equal power. I love the brevity. Well done.

Kim Nelson said...

Great work, Laurie. The flow of the first version is lyrical and entertaining, even though the topic is dark. The superbly pared down version conveys meaning with equal power. I love the brevity. Well done.

Margaret said...

...a sealing fate, indeed! Very dark, but it is quit affective.