Stuck Up
She had this nose
(a snout, no doubt)
this natural incline
(up there, in the air)
with dragon eyes
(two holes like bowls)
a pointy-tipped crest
(insanely vain)
and close-mindedness
(the view askew).
One day she fell backwards
(Crème brûlée, I say)
plopped down in the mud
(spongy grunge)
and this nose she had
(a snout, no doubt)
broke right in two
(oh, hoity-toity)
the people snickered
(at drama mama)
walked right on by
(their turn to burn)
she was stuck in the mud
(a conceit defeat).
23 comments:
That's wickedly brilliant. Love it.
Laurie - this was such fun! I like seeing the whimsical you! And that's not a conceit defeat! ☼
Wonderful!
lost in a maze
Great fun, with a touch of wickedness ;-)
very smart take.
love the details, vivid capture of the target...
Brilliant, Laurie and it made me laugh out loud. I have known a few like that in my day.
Pamela
Silly? Not at all. This is fun with rhyme echoes.
Hi Laurie,
Funny poem...made me laugh!
Very creative and fun. I like what you did!
Wonderful and wicked too. payback can be great.
Silly...OK...but in a very clever way. Liked the internal rhymes...well done! vb
Laughing - that sounds just a touch evil. Obviously she had it coming. What a fun read!
This has to be the best stuck-up poem I have read. Brilliant.
i loved your form and content. wonderful!
Whoa!
That was energetic and to the point!
Your poem has a definite fairy tale feel to it, too. Love it!
The parenthesis give it a depth, a conversational depth - that made me leap right in.
This was fun to read! I love the form which I have not seen before. Thanks for the snickers at drama mama. LOL
Ah, sweet revenge. Fun poem, Laurie. I enjoy your blog.
Thanks for your kind comments!
Judy~ If this is a form, I didn't know... it just came from my muse.
Fun poem, Laurie. I really enjoyed your beautiful blog!
I love the rhythm of this - almost a call and response feeling. And there's something so satisfying about a conceit defeat. :)
I love this. The comments in parantheses work brilliantly.
I like the playfulness of this poem and I agree that the parentheses do something very special...it's like the comments are being said under your breath!
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