Friday, March 18, 2011

Big Tent Poetry prompt: Stuck

Stuck Up
She had this nose
(a snout, no doubt)
this natural incline
(up there, in the air)
with dragon eyes
(two holes like bowls)
a pointy-tipped crest
(insanely vain)
and close-mindedness
(the view askew).
One day she fell backwards
(Crème brûlée, I say)
plopped down in the mud
     (spongy grunge)
and this nose she had
(a snout, no doubt)
broke right in two
(oh, hoity-toity)
the people snickered
     (at drama mama)
walked right on by
     (their turn to burn)
she was stuck in the mud
(a conceit defeat).


24 comments:

mark said...

That's wickedly brilliant. Love it.

lightverse said...

Laurie - this was such fun! I like seeing the whimsical you! And that's not a conceit defeat! ☼

LKHarris-Kolp said...

Thank you!

gautami tripathy said...

Wonderful!


lost in a maze

anthonynorth said...

Great fun, with a touch of wickedness ;-)

Jingle said...

very smart take.
love the details, vivid capture of the target...

flaubert said...

Brilliant, Laurie and it made me laugh out loud. I have known a few like that in my day.

Pamela

Mike Patrick said...

Silly? Not at all. This is fun with rhyme echoes.

Andy said...

Hi Laurie,
Funny poem...made me laugh!

nan said...

Very creative and fun. I like what you did!

Cathy said...

Wonderful and wicked too. payback can be great.

versebender said...

Silly...OK...but in a very clever way. Liked the internal rhymes...well done! vb

Tumblewords: said...

Laughing - that sounds just a touch evil. Obviously she had it coming. What a fun read!

vivinfrance said...

This has to be the best stuck-up poem I have read. Brilliant.

haikulovesongs said...

i loved your form and content. wonderful!

Kim Nelson said...

Whoa!
That was energetic and to the point!

Julie Jordan Scott said...

Your poem has a definite fairy tale feel to it, too. Love it!
The parenthesis give it a depth, a conversational depth - that made me leap right in.

Judy Roney said...

This was fun to read! I love the form which I have not seen before. Thanks for the snickers at drama mama. LOL

liv2write2day said...

Ah, sweet revenge. Fun poem, Laurie. I enjoy your blog.

LKHarris-Kolp said...

Thanks for your kind comments!

Judy~ If this is a form, I didn't know... it just came from my muse.

Short Poems said...

Fun poem, Laurie. I really enjoyed your beautiful blog!

Kelly said...

I love the rhythm of this - almost a call and response feeling. And there's something so satisfying about a conceit defeat. :)

Tilly Bud said...

I love this. The comments in parantheses work brilliantly.

Jeanne Aguilar said...

I like the playfulness of this poem and I agree that the parentheses do something very special...it's like the comments are being said under your breath!