Wow, a lot said in few words. I liked the thought of someone's ego being their demise,leaving them separate and alone. But one should never have to sweep beneath anyone's feet and watch life crumble away. Great use of metaphor, Laurie. I liked this a lot.
29 comments:
Hot.
This is beautiful !!!
Superb poetry. Makes one "feel."
Very potent!
nice...ego will often lead to crumbling....i feel a bit sad for those left behind to pick up the piece while the one sits oblivious on the throne...
I wonder if he lifted his feet while you swept? Well done!
Beautifully done.
Very well said
Crumbling life? Oo, nasty!
Valse triste...
Liked this a bunch Laurie--you always create a great sense of mood in your pieces--lovely sense of the mood here--although crumbling life--ouch
Short and brisk-with rhyme! I like it thanks-
I enjoyed the two personas you have created here, Laurie. The eventual clash is evident. Well conceived and I thank you for sharing. =D
Wow, a lot said in few words. I liked the thought of someone's ego being their demise,leaving them separate and alone. But one should never have to sweep beneath anyone's feet and watch life crumble away. Great use of metaphor, Laurie. I liked this a lot.
Oh I like the sound of your words reaching to his farewell!
packed with anger..wonderfully expressed..
Supremely sad and angry. Much said with very little.
Very moving. Sad, but punches well above its weight, poetically speaking.
..to sit alone in other's eyes... What a sad line to read... Short but delivering.
Ego ~ often a huge stumbling block to satisfying relationships. Nice job, Laurie!!
That was beautifully written and sad. You have such a talent, Laurie!
This was absolutely a gorgeous read, dripping with melancholy.
Deep and beautiful Laurie! :-)
nice one Laurie....beautiful for sure
Beautiful Laurie.
Anna :o]
You were thinking along the same lines as I was...I can relate! Nice write...
wonderful - 'defeat' strikes a strong note.
It had seen better days. So it deserved the indignity? Perhaps! Nicely Laurie!
Hank
Great take on how one can miss the effects of their own ego!
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