Sunday, November 25, 2012

Slick

Inspiration- The Mag145
Photo source here

 
















a red throne, ego
your demise
to sit alone
in other's eyes

while I
swept the floors
beneath your feet
watched life crumble
in defeat

30 comments:

ReBelle said...

Hot.

Green Speck said...

This is beautiful !!!

Raven said...

Superb poetry. Makes one "feel."

DCW said...

Very potent!

Brian Miller said...

nice...ego will often lead to crumbling....i feel a bit sad for those left behind to pick up the piece while the one sits oblivious on the throne...

Kathe W. said...

I wonder if he lifted his feet while you swept? Well done!

anthonynorth said...

Beautifully done.

Gail said...

Very well said

Jinksy said...

Crumbling life? Oo, nasty!

Bee's Blog said...

Well said!

Berowne said...

Valse triste...

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Liked this a bunch Laurie--you always create a great sense of mood in your pieces--lovely sense of the mood here--although crumbling life--ouch

izzy said...

Short and brisk-with rhyme! I like it thanks-

Linda said...

I enjoyed the two personas you have created here, Laurie. The eventual clash is evident. Well conceived and I thank you for sharing. =D

Ginny Brannan said...

Wow, a lot said in few words. I liked the thought of someone's ego being their demise,leaving them separate and alone. But one should never have to sweep beneath anyone's feet and watch life crumble away. Great use of metaphor, Laurie. I liked this a lot.

Karen S. said...

Oh I like the sound of your words reaching to his farewell!

Rashmi said...

packed with anger..wonderfully expressed..

Doctor FTSE said...

Supremely sad and angry. Much said with very little.

Dave King said...

Very moving. Sad, but punches well above its weight, poetically speaking.

Kelvin S.M. said...

..to sit alone in other's eyes... What a sad line to read... Short but delivering.

Helen said...

Ego ~ often a huge stumbling block to satisfying relationships. Nice job, Laurie!!

Eva Gallant said...

That was beautifully written and sad. You have such a talent, Laurie!

ninot said...

This was absolutely a gorgeous read, dripping with melancholy.

Carrie Burtt said...

Deep and beautiful Laurie! :-)

Wayne Pitchko said...

nice one Laurie....beautiful for sure

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Beautiful Laurie.

Anna :o]

Tess Kincaid said...

You were thinking along the same lines as I was...I can relate! Nice write...

Tumblewords: said...

wonderful - 'defeat' strikes a strong note.

kaykuala said...

It had seen better days. So it deserved the indignity? Perhaps! Nicely Laurie!

Hank

Robyn Greenhouse said...

Great take on how one can miss the effects of their own ego!