To sketch a draft of illusion,
trace your finger across my chest-
latch on.
Refrain from
lingering
at any one spot.
Feel a current
strike your heart,
a blend of temper and lust-
watch congeal
as a crack of reality sets in.
String along spare phantasm-
the racket you’ve created
is just that.
©laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl 61 - blend, latch, chest, current, draft, string, crack, spare, temper, refrain, racket, trace, strike
24 comments:
there is a nice sensuality riding just underneath the words in this...smiles....and a bit of playfulness as well...
Hi Laurie: I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award... Come check it out: http://meenarose.com/2012/06/16/the-versatile-blogger-award/
As an added bonus you get to learn 7 random things about me :)
As for your skin tingly illusion, Laurie... let's just say I am still smiling... so much riding beneath the surface of this one... to hesitant to life the covers, enjoying the illusion instead.
Hi Laurie!
Excellent poem and take on the prompt.
Skillfully woven words.
I enjoyed this, Laurie, especially the last stanza where I came up with different meanings depending on the way I interpreted 'racket.'
I like the teasing quality of this illusion speaking of itself. Nice, Laurie.
Very sensual, with an undercurrent of promise of more to come, maybe.
Lovely write!
Thanks for your visit... :)
While in modern language your verse reminds me of Shakespeare...
to sleep perchance to dream
What is real anyway? Though I had an inkling of what phantasm meant I looked it up just to be sure.
Noticed on the side bar that you've had a poem included in a magazine...Congratulations!
Really like this Laurie, especially the playfulness and the sensory filled images. Wonderful use of the words.
Elizabeth
The first line fascinates me, Laurie. I find myself twirling it around in my mind.
And there it is, at the end...a response to illusion's draft. Excellent write.
you are very gifted....I felt a tingling with the words 'strike a current with your heart'....beautifully done
I am fascinated. The poem gave me a completely different reading. I was mulling what I wanted to say about the strength of the speaker's tone, the underlying anger, the sharpness... and I start reading comments. I had to go back and reread the poem. I'm staying with mine :-)
Laurie...I'm amazed at how well wordled this is without a whole bunch of extraneous words. You've managed to create such a moving piece with such brevity! Well done!!
Served right up, this packs a punch. Well crafted, Laurie.
Scintillating! I love the "racket you've created is just that" and "a crack of reality sets in". I hate when reality sets in. It makes a big crack in the universe.
Love this, Laurie. From title to ending. Nice and strong.
Pamela
An economy of words; a multitude of meaning.
Such profoundness in such few words - very cool Laurie ... I like this a lot
http://seingrahamsays.wordpress.com/2012/06/16/a-current-spare/
I like the hints of sensuality this. Nice wordling!
I felt a sad emptiness from the speaker...perhaps the title set that tone for me.
Wow, I drifted through this illusion that ended craftily. Love it.
Very well crafted...Loved it!
under the surface
Just that idea of a "draft of illusion" intrigued me - and then you made it real - and then you came back to that idea of "phantasm". I like what you did with "racket" in the last stanza.
Richard
excellently crafted and weaved Laurie from the wordle word bank - Lib
So vivid and vibrant. I loved each read!
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