Sunday, June 17, 2012

A Stockade of Lies

Puddle, 1952, M. C. Esch














Eschew the truth; frightening
how you scrutinize others'
minor faults, lightening
your own guilt, how it smothers

feral flames spreading.
A tempest through life’s blazes
you think your future, dreading
puzzle pieces lost, mazes

through which you run, blockading
eternal wisdom, accrue
lies upon lies stockading
distrust from truth you eschew.


©laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration:
Real Toads- Celtic Quatrain poetic form
Poetic Bloomings- Fire
The Mag 122 picture

35 comments:

Helen said...

You have produced a slam dunk (yep, I'm a basketball fan) ... Celtic Quatrain seems impossibly difficult, you managed it beautifully!

Kerry O'Connor said...

You have a glorious vocab to work with, Laurie and have smacked a few beauties round this format challenge today.

hedgewitch said...

Agree with Kerry, your language here really drives the meaning, and works into the difficult format with ease--not esoteric words, but solid, punching ones. Great job here, Laurie.

insanebloom said...

Wonderful, love the way you have combined the two prompts.

Grace said...

Sharp words with perfect form ~ I specially like feral flames and mazes ~

You aced both prompts ~

Tumblewords: said...

Beautiful form and power that breathes.

Brian Miller said...

much easier to pick others apart than it is to realize our own faults...tight write laurie...the flames and mazes, nice layers in this..

Mary Ann Potter said...

Wow. This really packs the proverbial punch. No one can say,
"Hey. Tell us how you REALLY feel." Well said. Great "editorial comment" here.

Mary said...

Love some of the wordings in your poem, Laurie. "Feral flames spreading" definitey hit the mark!

Tess Kincaid said...

I like the mirrored reflection in the beginning and end...nice touch...

Fireblossom said...

accrue/eschew! you're good, woman.

Paige + Shauna said...

laurie, love your word choice and
how the words fill my mouth and
the concept fills my heart.

manicddaily said...

Well done, Laurie - you manage to retain your own voice through the form. k.

Linda said...

This works so well on so many levels. Thank you for sharing. I am sorry if there is a person in your life who inspired this poem, Laurie. It's excellent. =D

Catfish Tales said...

Reminds me of a bumper sticker I almost rode into :)...'eschew obfuscations' - nice wordplay!

Dave King said...

This is really punchy and impactful. I really go for this.

Berowne said...

I've said it before, Laurie, and I'll say it again - you can write!

Marian said...

wow, love it. i like how your enjambment makes the meter less predictable than most. did i say that right? maybe you know what i mean :)

Ginny Brannan said...

"Eschew the truth; frightening
how you scrutinize others'
minor faults,..."

I've known this scrutinizer, not a pleasant person.
Well done, Laurie.

Dick Jones said...

An evocative melding of form and content. It would be interesting to see more of these bardic forms being used for contemporary treatments.

izzy said...

Usually when we point the finger at someone else, there are 3 pointing back at ourselves. we 'own' whatever we are trying to blame on another!

Lyn said...

I too did a form this time..yours seems amazingly erudite and difficult too..I liked re-reading it..and it's good!!

Quotes,Photos and a little Poetry said...

To point and full truth about love or just how life can be with other's and how it treats us sometimes.

Sue said...

Creative blending of both prompts...the one visual and the other of form.

Well done!

=)

Kutamun said...

Escher may well be an eschewer !

Margaret said...

"lightening your own guilt"

This is an amazing form to conquer AND do it with such a message. My hat is off to you, young lady!

Hannah said...

Such well-placed perfect picked words for the meaning and the image is suited wonderfully for this, too!

Susan said...

Suffer the perfectionist who indeed carries his/her own torment in seed:

Beautifully drawn!

Myrna R. said...

Nice. I really like the message here, and the way you've expressed it is unique and creative. Good write!

Archna Sharma said...

Disheartening to think of a life spent this way, piling and wasting. It feels like a rant that spewed out in one breath, I think there is healing in that. You've lead to the point easily and completely. And as the others have already mentioned, much strength in these words.

Mystic_Mom said...

Laurie - wow!

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

awesome!

JJRod'z

Gina Gao said...

This is amazing poetry!

www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

Helena said...

Hey! Hey! This is fabulous! Succinct but still saying so much. It's a winner with me!

ds said...

Powerful feelings that work well with the form. Brava, Laurie!!