Sinking in pebbled mud
inadvertently marred,
a junkyard of memories
unintentionally scarred.
She stumbles upon
the truck they once shared,
speeding teen love
until drunk, he despaired.
And now she's left
unintentionally scarred,
sinking in pebbled mud
inadvertently marred.
*
@laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration: Magpie Tales, Poets United
25 comments:
So sad.
That has such a ring of truth to it!
kind of sad, well done.
Wow! That's excellent!
I like this very much. I like the way you have repeated and inverted lines from the first stanza. Excellent work!
I really enjoyed the re-threading of the first verse in the third -- well done...
Excellent weaving of words.♥
Scarred, then marred. Rather moving take on the prompt.
sad for sure...life was so much different when we were young, until it started leaving those scars...
A sad piece, yet how many times this lesson has been learned, scarring the world and beyond.
A beautifully sorrowful write.
Laurie, I loved this. Inadvertently marred, unintentionally scarred ~ a great line.
Poignant poem that really touches me, Laurie. The song Teen Angel plays in my mind as I read it. Beautifully done.
I love "a junkyard of memories"...nice...
This is a great take on the prompt! I like the range of emotion ... traveled here.
you convey it so well.
A sad but so true tale in your poem. How often do we hear this story. So well expressed here in your repeated phrases.
That was very power-packed piece...
You have such a wealth of emotion...Superb Magpie!
I love the way you have used repetition to reinforce some of these lines. You give a second chance at digesting their meaning. Love this poem. :)
Short and neat, but very well done. Thank you.
...speeding teen love.
youth are always in such a hurry... always have been and alway will be. Very nice (tragic) write.
Sad and tragic, but such is life sometimes. Nicely written!
Here's my offering for this prompt: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/he-was-a-ford-man-2/
What a wonderfully sad story. Well composed and well written. Well done.
Well expressed sad story
Anna :o]
sad indeed.
well told.
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