Sunday, October 7, 2012

Clandestine Excuses

Sick Woman, 1665, by Jan Steen
Photo prompt courtesy of The Mag 138




















the same old story every week
headaches, chills, lethargy

he thought she might be terminal
so he gathered docs and clergy

unaware a secret kept
stuffed within her pillow

made her ill, recondite truth;
she'd rather be with Willow

*

Also sahred with Imaginary Gardens with Real Toads Open Link Monday

50 comments:

Pranita said...

Ohh! I like the idea of secret behind the pillow!

Live to die at home!

Pranita said...

Ohh! I like the idea of secret behind the pillow!

Live to die at home!

DCW said...

I like the idea of something beneath the surface. This is pleasing.

Raven said...

Quite delightful ... wondering what kept her ill ... this call and relatively unknown truth?

Raven said...

Ah what Apple does to my words. That is meant to be "this small and relatively unknown truth,"

Green Speck said...

This was sad, but a "Secret", I wish she had shared it to reduce her burden !!!

Brian Miller said...

haha...secrets kept in the pillow will def leave the sourness of neglect...esp if they are desires of another...

awakenedwords said...

ah, those secret desires can indeed make you feel ill.

Tarang Sinha said...

I liked "secret kept
stuffed within her pillow" :)

Kathe W. said...

hah! Secret in the pillow! Well done!

De Jackson (WhimsyGizmo) said...

Oh, yes. Secrets kept under pillows. Love this.

anthonynorth said...

Love the mystery in this.

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh...so who then is... 'willow'...LOL
The truth 'will' always 'owt'
Pun intended ;)

izzy said...

Secrets! so deadly - I did similar-:)

Irish Gumbo said...

How many secrets poison our souls, yet we don't let them go? Ah, a mystery not yet solved, but illuminated well here :)

Karen S. said...

Oh love can be a strange and wonderful twist of fate! Nice point!

Mama Zen said...

Love it!

Linda said...

In that gold silk dress she's wearing, she looks dressed for Willow's Ball. I guess she is looking for one last fling. I love the couplets and the rhyme, Laurie. Great writing. Thanks for sharing. =D

Magaly Guerrero said...

If that pillow could talk, the things it would scream about Willow ;-)

Steve E said...

Ah! I know what secret is kept stuffed within her pillow--grin! (She whispered it to me.)

And I smile--having suspected all these years--as I press the pillow, secret and all, to her helpless mouth, nose.....and hear her final "UUUNHH!"
________________

What a gift! What fun work! To blanket a "mystery" under cover of numbered phrases, syllables.

You do it well, woman!
PEACE!
Steve

kaykuala said...

The secret yearnings can mean that particular affliction called 'love'. Love is in the air for which there is no remedy. It only needs time! Nicely Laurie!


Hank

Rene Foran said...

How I adore this!
Secret love and sickness.

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Love this Laurie!

Dave King said...

Good thinking! I never would have thought of the pillow!

Yvonne Osborne said...

I love this. What a clever idea. It's all in the pillow. Everyone has secrets. You did a great job here.

SaraV said...

Another winner Laurie! Very clever play with the painting. Those secrets will get you every time. Lovely rhythm to the poem too :-)

Kutamun said...

The willow, how very feminine, the moon, her little secret is out, !

Laura said...

well done!

Herotomost said...

hooooahhhh!!!! I loved this. What a bite, such a big idea for such a short poem. Loved this.

Susan said...

I know that I read this before and loved it totally--but I cannot find my comment so--let me just say that it reminds me of the plot of a brilliant Kate Chopin story "The Story of an Hour." Such hidden truths can make one ill, indeed, they may even be fatal.

Helen said...

Peeling back the layers ... very interesting. Loved this Ms. Laurie!

Kim Nelson said...

What was it? What is it, that induces ague when self administered? You have me wondering, Laurie!

Grace said...

I like the secret kept under the pillows ~ Nice one Laurie ~

Carrie Burtt said...

Secrets and burdens do go hand in hand.....a lovely write Laurie!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Intriguing! I love it.

Kimolisa said...

Interesting poem, I like the concept of the secret hidden in the pillow.

flipside records said...

Hysterical laughter over here. What an idiot. LOL. Excellent response to the photo, my dear. :)

Buddah Moskowitz said...

Fun and descriptive verse!

my heart's love songs said...

so sad to self-inflict such maladies!

Mary Mansfield said...

I think our pillows tend to hold lots of secrets. Very nicely done!

J Cosmo Newbery said...

Pillows can be great confidants.

Harvee Lau said...

Pillow secrets! Nice one!

Mary said...

Just loved the twist at the end! Smiles.

Margaret said...

...very clever take on this painting! I'm still stuck on a response. You wove intrigue into this quite well.

Little Nell said...

Wht a naughty lady, but he was a bit slow on the uptake wasn't he? Hiding things beneath our pillow; who has not done that? It's a clever take Laurie.

Sabio Lantz said...

OK, not sure, but I laughed because I thought the secret was a lesbian relationship with a woman named Willow. Fantastic. It made me imagine what trickery they must have gone through to pull it off in those days.

gautami tripathy said...

So so beautiful.....

healing power of the soul

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Oh well done!

Amma :o]

Robyn Greenhouse said...

Your poem left me waiting for a follow up poem to tell more! Enjoyed your take on the picture!

Tumblewords: said...

Double fine!