Wednesday, October 10, 2012

On the Outside



You thought a brisk walk might help
leave the miserable feelings behind. . .


. . .around and around you skimmed
detached circles, a Venn diagram.
 

From the middle I watched you, a
maze of mass confusion
 
.
.
.

as
each
step 
spiralled
down 
to
your
grave.



*

Prompt inspiration- 3WW- brisk, detached, miserable

12 comments:

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh wow.... how sad. This leaves nothing to the imagination at all. Such a sad way to live to...the grave.... shudders.
Gripping.

Eva Gallant said...

Wow! That was so visual! Great job!

jaerose said...

walking around in circles really does push you down the plug hole..literally..or otherwise..jae

Brian Miller said...

ha i like how you use the venn diagram in this laurie...def sad way to spend a life...or an afterlife...smiles.

Nico said...

How hard it is to have to stand and watch someone self-destruct--you gave words to this feeling, accurate, affecting, sadly beautiful.

Ella said...

oooh, dug the grave with a fork, too...
Yikes, time to walk!
Well Done I enjoyed it~

Sheilagh Lee said...

oh how sad.

Grandma`s Goulash said...

Loved the emphasis given by the placement of those last words. Excellent.

Altonian said...

Breathtakingly stark, leaving one helpless.

Mary said...

Oh that ending....spiralling down to one's grave. Vividly intense.

dandeliongirl01 said...

beautiful! Like watching a leaf spiral to the ground in the autumn, watching a life slowly end. Sad and moving.

Shauna said...

Eerie end. Great form.