Heard anything funny lately?

*This is my submission to >Language>Place Blog Carnival, edition 13,Christopher Allen's I Must Be Off! 

Conversations can be so ludicrous sometimes, don't you agree?  I've had some humdingers I'd like to share with you. Grab a chair and take a seat; let's talk.

The first conversation took place at a business dinner Pete and I had with another couple. None of us had ever met except for Pete and the other man. I don't remember how we got onto talking about deviated septums and sinus surgery, but that's what was buzzing at our table when Pete said he couldn't smell anything as a result of his turbinates being zapped ten years ago.

The wife leaned in and said this, "I smell like a dog."

Then, faster than an English teacher, she corrected herself, "I don't SMELL like a dog, I smell like a dog smells."

We were laughing when I said, "And I get upset because Pete can't smell the dogs."  Nor the chickens.

***

The other conversation is one I had with an old man I love dearly. He always has a story to share and it always revolves around his dry sense of humor.

He said his wife was happy today because he had bought her a brand new computer for her birthday.

"Usually I give her those sappy, sentimental cards and that's enough. I always tell her to pick out some jewelry or something, but she never does. So I felt like I owed her about 10 years of presents when I got her the computer.

"Now, when my first wife was in the hospital she wanted me to bring her a book from home. So I grabbed the first one I could find without even a second glance, until I got to her room and saw that it was Robin Cook's Coma. That didn't go over well at all. I think I'm doing better than I used to."

Haha!

Have you had any funny/interesting conversations lately? Come on, it's your turn. I'm listening.