Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Mind's Eye Rotten

Your igneous heart destroyed me
pierced shards of metal right through me;
an irksome toy long forgotten
gathering dust in the garage,
as varmints erode love's mirage.
A wildfire ignited cotton;
high-pitched sirens bridle the course
all observe destruction in force.
Plowing fields, my mind's eye rotten.

@laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration: 3WW- erode, heart, observe; Poetic Bloomings- Poetry form~ Nove Otto

***********************

A Remix for Poetic Asides:

After years of pyromaniac destruction
infusion through my heart a wildfire path,
I found the courage to let you go

like a toy that won't stop sounding
deserted in the garage, a varmint
rotting my mind's eye of love.

@laurie kolp


 Poetic Asides- a remix poem

14 comments:

Chris G. said...

Heartwrenching, this - the description of the narrator's heart as a toy, the dust gathering...it solidly drives the visual of this heartbreak home. The imagery carries us through several potent points as such...it reads almost like a primal scream for anyone that's experience such betrayal-loss I think. Splendid work.

kaykuala said...

Laurie,
A tinge of sadness seem apparent in this. Sometimes it portrays a yearning to be with someone dear but it didn't happen. Excellent verse!

Hank

Daydreamertoo said...

I see betrayal of your emotions, your heart. You trusted someone and they betrayed you.
Very powerful, and yes, sad.

gautami tripathy said...

Powerful. Sad..

hitching a ride in rusted trails

andy sewina said...

I mlike the way you rhymed this!

Shauna said...

A sad and broken heart - often is
the pain before joy. Well done.

jaerose said...

The two pieces work extremely well placed together..I love the dark, heavy bitterness of the first..and the slightly lighter..conquering feel of the second..Jae

Sheilagh Lee said...

Heart wrenching poetry that still leaves one hopeful it could go on.

Cammila Albertson said...

"A varmint."

Yup. I know exactly what you mean. Perfect word, image.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Both poems are excellent!

K said...

Laurie, this is powerful! My favorite line is: A wildfire ignited cotton; high-pitched sirens bridle the course all observe destruction in force.
This speaks of heart break but also that this heart wasn't all that easy to destroy anyway. Nonetheless, fiery multi-layered, multifaceted prose!

Old Raven said...

Wow Laurie ... these are tempestuous ... real ... and very powerful with the movement of emotion.

oldegg said...

Impressed by my first reading I decided to read them both aloud and was stunned by their power. Well done.

Berowne said...

"Igneous heart" -- yes, I've known a few of those...