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| Puddle, 1952, M. C. Esch |
Eschew the truth; frightening
how you scrutinize others'
minor faults, lightening
your own guilt, how it smothers
feral flames spreading.
A tempest through life’s blazes
you think your future, dreading
puzzle pieces lost, mazes
through which you run, blockading
eternal wisdom, accrue
lies upon lies stockading
distrust from truth you eschew.
©laurie kolp
Prompt inspiration:
Real Toads- Celtic Quatrain poetic form
Poetic Bloomings- Fire
The Mag 122 picture
34 comments:
You have produced a slam dunk (yep, I'm a basketball fan) ... Celtic Quatrain seems impossibly difficult, you managed it beautifully!
You have a glorious vocab to work with, Laurie and have smacked a few beauties round this format challenge today.
Agree with Kerry, your language here really drives the meaning, and works into the difficult format with ease--not esoteric words, but solid, punching ones. Great job here, Laurie.
Wonderful, love the way you have combined the two prompts.
Sharp words with perfect form ~ I specially like feral flames and mazes ~
You aced both prompts ~
Beautiful form and power that breathes.
much easier to pick others apart than it is to realize our own faults...tight write laurie...the flames and mazes, nice layers in this..
Wow. This really packs the proverbial punch. No one can say,
"Hey. Tell us how you REALLY feel." Well said. Great "editorial comment" here.
Love some of the wordings in your poem, Laurie. "Feral flames spreading" definitey hit the mark!
I like the mirrored reflection in the beginning and end...nice touch...
accrue/eschew! you're good, woman.
laurie, love your word choice and
how the words fill my mouth and
the concept fills my heart.
Well done, Laurie - you manage to retain your own voice through the form. k.
This works so well on so many levels. Thank you for sharing. I am sorry if there is a person in your life who inspired this poem, Laurie. It's excellent. =D
This is really punchy and impactful. I really go for this.
I've said it before, Laurie, and I'll say it again - you can write!
wow, love it. i like how your enjambment makes the meter less predictable than most. did i say that right? maybe you know what i mean :)
"Eschew the truth; frightening
how you scrutinize others'
minor faults,..."
I've known this scrutinizer, not a pleasant person.
Well done, Laurie.
An evocative melding of form and content. It would be interesting to see more of these bardic forms being used for contemporary treatments.
Usually when we point the finger at someone else, there are 3 pointing back at ourselves. we 'own' whatever we are trying to blame on another!
I too did a form this time..yours seems amazingly erudite and difficult too..I liked re-reading it..and it's good!!
To point and full truth about love or just how life can be with other's and how it treats us sometimes.
Creative blending of both prompts...the one visual and the other of form.
Well done!
=)
Escher may well be an eschewer !
"lightening your own guilt"
This is an amazing form to conquer AND do it with such a message. My hat is off to you, young lady!
Such well-placed perfect picked words for the meaning and the image is suited wonderfully for this, too!
Suffer the perfectionist who indeed carries his/her own torment in seed:
Beautifully drawn!
Nice. I really like the message here, and the way you've expressed it is unique and creative. Good write!
Disheartening to think of a life spent this way, piling and wasting. It feels like a rant that spewed out in one breath, I think there is healing in that. You've lead to the point easily and completely. And as the others have already mentioned, much strength in these words.
Laurie - wow!
awesome!
JJRod'z
This is amazing poetry!
www.modernworld4.blogspot.com
Hey! Hey! This is fabulous! Succinct but still saying so much. It's a winner with me!
Powerful feelings that work well with the form. Brava, Laurie!!
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