Sunday, September 23, 2012

Wrecked

Flying Down, 2006, by David Salle
Picture prompt: The Mag 136
 
A tumble, stumble
dip
down swirls of
orange(E) tangy
dreams
I spiral through,
a
nose-
dive
to hell;  
while you
glide away
in the plane
we once built. 

39 comments:

anthonynorth said...

Very cleverly done.

Mama Zen said...

I really like this!

Kathe W. said...

very nicely done- you caught so many elements and wove them into one!

Brian Miller said...

ouch...sounds like you got the short end of that stick...pretty cool story you were able to weave from it though....orange dream....those were popsicles once werent they?

Green Speck said...

Nose diving to hell can hurt !!!

Kay said...

like the swirling feel of this piece..lovely and bright!!

Tess Kincaid said...

Stylish...an packs a neat punch...

Laurel's Quill said...

I like it...how can you get anything but "spiraling"??

christopher said...

A bitter story. Hope it is mostly poetry.

Eva Gallant said...

You have a way with words!

SaraV said...

Laurie, I don't know if it's your intent or just my warped sense, but lately nearly all your poems make me laugh out loud. What a wonderful story you wove from this painting! And loved how you used Orange(E), perfect.

Helena said...

I just felt that downward motion as I read....! A neat little poem, Laurie!

Lyn said...

Wonderful..I just feel like applauding! Even though you spiral...you win!

Paige + Shauna said...

a lyrical energy to this poem, laurie.

Irish Gumbo said...

An iron fist in a velvet glove, this piece. Knockout punch wraps it up. I like it.

kaykuala said...

It's a pity! After going through difficulties in life together one gets deserted. It isn't fair! Nicely Laurie!

Hank

Dana Dampier said...

I like the swirls of orange(E) tangy dreams! Such a sad piece.

Berowne said...

Remarkable story, cleverly told...

aprille said...

Filled with E-number I suspect. Very stormy, in tune with the image.

izzy said...

Definitely movement! Well said; made me briefly think of Amelia E.
Thanks.

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Clever write Laurie.

Anna :o]

Helen said...

Delightful ... orange(E) tangy ~ perfect description of that color in the painting!!

Little Nell said...

Oh Laurie - the one that got away! Nicely done.

Wayne Pitchko said...

indeed well woven and nicely written Laurie

Raven said...

Clever and really well done ... unexpected especially since I did not see the title until after reading the poem.

Linda said...

I love the shape of your poem and I enjoyed the airborne aspects of the characters. I also love the idea of spiralling swirls, Laurie. Thanks for sharing. =D

Catfish Tales said...

Oh what a terrible pilot, navigating your life into such a spiral. :) A typical flyboy!

Ella said...

I love the spiral and color, but damn scary at the end!
You did a great job of making us look again~ It was fun to read and be part of the art :D

Kutamun said...

It does seem to be a vortex of some kind , but is it centrifugal ( angelic) , or centripetal, ( demonic) ? Thanks

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh that so captures that kind of experience......one takes a nose dive, the other soars off........yikes.

Karen S. said...

Glide on back- you've got to share that plane! Great twist with the lines, your style is fitting for the photo!

PattiKen said...

This is surreal, but I like it. You pulled out elements of the picture, whirled them into a story of loss.

Tumblewords: said...

A delightful spin you've put on this!

jabblog said...

You just never know what sort of trip you'll get;-)

Carol Steel 5050 said...

There is so much in the words: while you glide away in the plane we once built. Intriguing. That can apply to many together then apart situations in life. Excellent write.

Ritva said...

Witty! You say so many things with so few words. :)

Bee's Blog said...

So much said in so few words - a nose dive to hell is a wonderfully descriptive way of putting the experience. I like it.

Sabio Lantz said...

Wow, that was fun -- a bit bitter and sad, but a good way of saying it.

BTW, back on my blog: I guess you didn't understand my poem, sorry I wasn't clear. It wasn't us eating tacos. There were two simultaneous dialogues there.

Robyn Greenhouse said...

So much emotion packed into your poem!