Friday, September 14, 2012

Bottlenecked Hope

Southern-Style Bottle Trees
photo by L. Kolp

 
Blue
bottled
blooms
brush the
heavenly
skies, clank
rhythms  as  a
bottomed - out
drunk  on   the
dusty   streets
of hell exhales
exhaust - like
sighs.  Y o u
think his only
escape from
bottlenecked
hope  is  to
shatter glass
into the air.

Prompt inspiration- Imaginary Garden's A Word with Laurie: Bottleneck

26 comments:

aprille said...

Alcohol instead of water :-)
Clever twist to the necks. I can heard the shards falling.

sreeja harikrishnan said...

this is absolutely a bottle...and this is so good......it gives so vivid images... even the sounds....

Karen S. said...

Very lovely poem and I'd love to have those blue bottled blossoms!

Kerry O'Connor said...

This is excellent, Laurie! I love the pic of all the blue bottles perched on the branches like birds, but your words have taken the image to the next level. This is an excellent challenge.

Teresa said...

Everything about this is wonderful~the picture, the poem, the shape. I love alliteration. I really think I need a bottle tree.

Brian Miller said...

cool concrete poetry laurie....cool decor on the tree...i wonder if you know the origin of doing that...it was a way that slaves marked gravesites...

Scriptor Senex said...

...escape from bottlenecked hope - such a thought-provoking phrase. You met your own challenge well, Laurie!

goatman said...

Someone went to a lot of trouble to place those bottles on those dead trees' branches; and they probably do make clanking rhythms.
Nice poem as inspired by the photo.

Green Speck said...

Cool !!!

vivinfrance said...

Intriguing - poem and plant! I like your take on the bottle-neck.

SaraV said...

Your words chime perfectly with the photo and to make a concrete poem too! Very clever :-)

Susie Clevenger said...

Your words fit perfectly with the photo and for your poem to be in the shape of a bottle just adds to it. Bravo!

JJ Roa Rodriguez said...

cool! love it!

JJRod'z

Eva Gallant said...

Awesome, love how the shape of the work embodied the subject.

Ella said...

This is so good, lol
I love the shape and how clever you are ;D

my heart's love songs said...

wonderful shape poem, Laurie! i'm smelling the beer-tinged sulphur as the drunk breathes all over us! i love the ending lines!

enjoyed your prompt at real toads!

Mary said...

I love how the shape of your bottleneck poem frames the words!
Nice prompt, Laurie!

Mary Mansfield said...

I love the way the idea of the bottle and bottleneck changes as we go through the poem and that descent from the heavenly to the hellish. Wonderfully crafted poem!

Kim Nelson said...

AMAZING, Laurie! Oftentimes an effort to create a visual form piece results in lackluster verbiage and meaning. Not so, here. You nailed it!

Mama Zen said...

Well done, Laurie!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Love the bottled shape of your poem. I have never heard of bottle trees and think your photo is amazing. Now I want a bottle tree!

Peggy said...

Excellent prompt and excellent bottle-shaped poem as well. Must have been quite a trick to get those blue bottles on all those branches--and there must be a supply of blue bottles someplace!

Kay L. Davies said...

Those bottles are a gorgeous shade of blue, aren't they? And oh, the poor drunk hitting bottom. At least from bottom, however, there's nowhere to go but up.
A fun and fascinating prompt, Laurie. Thanks!
K

Hannah said...

The details you use, Laurie, make this so tangible...love the echo of breaking glass. Well done and thank you so very much for the prompt, my friend. :)

Patricia Anne McGoldrick said...

Laurie, that breath of exhaust is so real to the person in your poem. The photo blues are so in tune with your theme.

Marian said...

saying y o u
is particularly effective in slowing down the read of this little poem, creating pause for considering.