Southern-Style Bottle Trees photo by L. Kolp |
Blue
bottled
blooms
brush the
heavenly
skies, clank
rhythms as a
bottomed - out
drunk on the
dusty streets
of hell exhales
exhaust - like
sighs. Y o u
think his only
escape from
bottlenecked
hope is to
shatter glass
into the air.
Prompt inspiration- Imaginary Garden's A Word with Laurie: Bottleneck
25 comments:
Alcohol instead of water :-)
Clever twist to the necks. I can heard the shards falling.
this is absolutely a bottle...and this is so good......it gives so vivid images... even the sounds....
Very lovely poem and I'd love to have those blue bottled blossoms!
This is excellent, Laurie! I love the pic of all the blue bottles perched on the branches like birds, but your words have taken the image to the next level. This is an excellent challenge.
Everything about this is wonderful~the picture, the poem, the shape. I love alliteration. I really think I need a bottle tree.
cool concrete poetry laurie....cool decor on the tree...i wonder if you know the origin of doing that...it was a way that slaves marked gravesites...
...escape from bottlenecked hope - such a thought-provoking phrase. You met your own challenge well, Laurie!
Someone went to a lot of trouble to place those bottles on those dead trees' branches; and they probably do make clanking rhythms.
Nice poem as inspired by the photo.
Intriguing - poem and plant! I like your take on the bottle-neck.
Your words chime perfectly with the photo and to make a concrete poem too! Very clever :-)
Your words fit perfectly with the photo and for your poem to be in the shape of a bottle just adds to it. Bravo!
cool! love it!
JJRod'z
Awesome, love how the shape of the work embodied the subject.
This is so good, lol
I love the shape and how clever you are ;D
wonderful shape poem, Laurie! i'm smelling the beer-tinged sulphur as the drunk breathes all over us! i love the ending lines!
enjoyed your prompt at real toads!
♥
I love how the shape of your bottleneck poem frames the words!
Nice prompt, Laurie!
I love the way the idea of the bottle and bottleneck changes as we go through the poem and that descent from the heavenly to the hellish. Wonderfully crafted poem!
AMAZING, Laurie! Oftentimes an effort to create a visual form piece results in lackluster verbiage and meaning. Not so, here. You nailed it!
Well done, Laurie!
Love the bottled shape of your poem. I have never heard of bottle trees and think your photo is amazing. Now I want a bottle tree!
Excellent prompt and excellent bottle-shaped poem as well. Must have been quite a trick to get those blue bottles on all those branches--and there must be a supply of blue bottles someplace!
Those bottles are a gorgeous shade of blue, aren't they? And oh, the poor drunk hitting bottom. At least from bottom, however, there's nowhere to go but up.
A fun and fascinating prompt, Laurie. Thanks!
K
The details you use, Laurie, make this so tangible...love the echo of breaking glass. Well done and thank you so very much for the prompt, my friend. :)
Laurie, that breath of exhaust is so real to the person in your poem. The photo blues are so in tune with your theme.
saying y o u
is particularly effective in slowing down the read of this little poem, creating pause for considering.
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