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| Flying Down, 2006, by David Salle Picture prompt: The Mag 136 |
A tumble, stumble
dip
down swirls of
orange(E) tangy
dreams
I spiral through,
a
nose-
dive
to hell;
nose-
dive
to hell;
while you
glide away
in the plane
we once built.
37 comments:
Very cleverly done.
very nicely done- you caught so many elements and wove them into one!
ouch...sounds like you got the short end of that stick...pretty cool story you were able to weave from it though....orange dream....those were popsicles once werent they?
Nose diving to hell can hurt !!!
like the swirling feel of this piece..lovely and bright!!
Stylish...an packs a neat punch...
I like it...how can you get anything but "spiraling"??
A bitter story. Hope it is mostly poetry.
You have a way with words!
Laurie, I don't know if it's your intent or just my warped sense, but lately nearly all your poems make me laugh out loud. What a wonderful story you wove from this painting! And loved how you used Orange(E), perfect.
I just felt that downward motion as I read....! A neat little poem, Laurie!
Wonderful..I just feel like applauding! Even though you spiral...you win!
a lyrical energy to this poem, laurie.
An iron fist in a velvet glove, this piece. Knockout punch wraps it up. I like it.
It's a pity! After going through difficulties in life together one gets deserted. It isn't fair! Nicely Laurie!
Hank
I like the swirls of orange(E) tangy dreams! Such a sad piece.
Remarkable story, cleverly told...
Filled with E-number I suspect. Very stormy, in tune with the image.
Definitely movement! Well said; made me briefly think of Amelia E.
Thanks.
Clever write Laurie.
Anna :o]
Delightful ... orange(E) tangy ~ perfect description of that color in the painting!!
Oh Laurie - the one that got away! Nicely done.
indeed well woven and nicely written Laurie
Clever and really well done ... unexpected especially since I did not see the title until after reading the poem.
I love the shape of your poem and I enjoyed the airborne aspects of the characters. I also love the idea of spiralling swirls, Laurie. Thanks for sharing. =D
I love the spiral and color, but damn scary at the end!
You did a great job of making us look again~ It was fun to read and be part of the art :D
It does seem to be a vortex of some kind , but is it centrifugal ( angelic) , or centripetal, ( demonic) ? Thanks
Oh that so captures that kind of experience......one takes a nose dive, the other soars off........yikes.
Glide on back- you've got to share that plane! Great twist with the lines, your style is fitting for the photo!
This is surreal, but I like it. You pulled out elements of the picture, whirled them into a story of loss.
A delightful spin you've put on this!
You just never know what sort of trip you'll get;-)
There is so much in the words: while you glide away in the plane we once built. Intriguing. That can apply to many together then apart situations in life. Excellent write.
Witty! You say so many things with so few words. :)
So much said in so few words - a nose dive to hell is a wonderfully descriptive way of putting the experience. I like it.
Wow, that was fun -- a bit bitter and sad, but a good way of saying it.
BTW, back on my blog: I guess you didn't understand my poem, sorry I wasn't clear. It wasn't us eating tacos. There were two simultaneous dialogues there.
So much emotion packed into your poem!
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