Sunday, January 20, 2013

Two Points of View

(Photo
via Wiki under CC Author=
Mike
from Canada
High-Yellow
Sorong Amethystine Scrub Python
)


It inhabits
the ecoregion
of the victim's
digestive tract
slithers through
intestinal tunnels
ulcerates with
pustulous fangs
then recoils
until the next
attack.
~~





Go ahead,
have the last
word. I’ll watch
you flinch with
each inch as I
slither closer,
squinch at HISS-
ing sounds, rebound
venomous snaps.
Go ahead,
have the last
word. I’ll watch
you recoil as I
coil around
your hips,
squeeze you
like a wet rag
until vile drips
from your
quivering lips.
You came
to the wrong
place, go ahead
talk.

*


10 comments:

Kim Nelson said...

Prompt shmomt! A poem is... And you did a great job, here.

Hannah said...

I enjoyed the first Laurie, and thought, as I'd commented on it before that the language you used brought a definite snake-like-tone with the added bonus of causing me to search out more about the disease you mention which a close friend of mine has. Your second one definitely takes on the POV and you draw your reader in very effectively with a super tense situation.

Written well, both of them...I'm glad you included the first again...I stated this before but I said that we need to respect the muse.

Warm smiles to you~Hannah

Tatius T. Darksong said...

A hissing poem indeed, one of the two things that really scare me.

Brian Miller said...

ha. i rather like the second...def sounds like one i would not want to messsssss with...ssssmilesssss....

Grace said...

Lovely offering Laurie ~ I must say the second was a stronger voice, with sounds, like go ahead and make my day ~

Janie said...

Loved it! Great job putting yourself in the mind of the serpent :)

Mary said...

This is good, Laurie. I can really feel the vileness of this serpent.

Susie Clevenger said...

Goodness...I can hear the snake hiss. I am fascinated with snakes. They are amazing creatures.

Karen said...

I loved the first...and the second! Frightening and powerful, both.

Eva Gallant said...

Gave me chills!