Wednesday, January 2, 2013

The Diary

In diary passages, a subject reappeared
one of addiction, the nasty consequences
a fraying nerve on an otherwise alpha-girl
perfectionist. It only got worse, with bitter
nagging from her doting lover whose razor-
sharp retorts merely threw the girl further into
denial. A killer pace, this endless need for idle
thrills dangerously lurking on a golden precipice
of delusion until a new personality blossomed,
an evil twin oddly opposite from the girl; sober/
drunk unspooling, spiraling until the bitter end
and in a blink, she was gone, the only thing left
a diary with recurring threads of debauchery.

*

Prompt inspirations: Imaginary Gardens~ Get Listed (a word list) and 3WW~ idle, nagging, pace

36 comments:

Brian Miller said...

its is occassionally good to look back on that and remember, it allows us to appreciate the now and where we have come....leave her in the diary as well...smiles.

hope your son is not too sore today

Bethe77 said...

Reflection!
Shows us where we have been and where we are ........Growth........Blessings

Teresa said...

I love what you did with this and incorporating so many of the prompts.

jaerose said...

We are many people in words..sometimes it's like reading someone else's story even though it may be our own..lovely texture and layer to this piece..happy new scribbles to you..jae

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This is a fantastic depiction of addiction.......you nailed it. I especially love "lurking on a golden precipice of delusion". That's it, all right.

Emma Major said...

you've really captured addiction ands free fall so well

Kateri said...

This tells quite a story with a few words. Impressive use of the list of words.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Amazing how this story lay within the words and you lifted it out and set it down for us to read.

Marian said...

sigh.

vivinfrance said...

~Brilliant - making sense out of a nonsense-ical list and giving us a wholly credible scenario

vivinfrance said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Susan said...

Ouch, Laurie! Ouch. Perhaps this will work as a good warning; I hope it is not a memorial. Sharpness!

Mary said...

Oh my, it definitely sounds like her life led her to a logical place. Sadly enough.

kaykuala said...

Idle thrills and retorts certainly can put off someone. Even from different end of the scale both put unnecessary pressure nonetheless. Sad, but can't blame her. Nicely Laurie!

Hank

Eva Gallant said...

A rather sad commentary nicely done.

Eva Gallant said...

A rather sad commentary nicely done.

Helen said...

Way to use those words ~~ in not one, but two challenges!

jasmine calyx said...

Oh man, that ending! Love it. You did a great job using all these words in such a tight space. I'm impressed! What a sad story, though.

I really like the juxtaposition of "unspooling" and "spiraling."

oldegg said...

Diaries are so easily misunderstood. Mind you I think all of us have evil twin inside us.

Susie Clevenger said...

Addiction is a beast. I wrote in my diary when young. It was a sad thing...so glad I weathered my sometimes stormy world. Great work Laurie!!

Ella said...

Well done Laurie! Addiction has more than one twin~

hedgewitch said...

A very interesting take on the prompt.

Hannah said...

You've plunged these words deep into a very meaningful piece, Laurie!! Great work. :)

Sheilagh Lee said...

addiction will take you down that slippery slope

Herotomost said...

I alwsay think that twin is gone...and he just keeps reappearing, and he is so charming and convincing...lol. Loved the use of the words and the mountain of character and description you fit into such a small postage stamp of an area. I feel like I watched Girl Interupted and it took only seconds to read....twice. Love that.

Kay L. Davies said...

Oh, yes, Laurie, this is super.
K

my heart's love songs said...

LOVE your use of the prompt words, Laurie! brilliant!

Jazzbumpa said...

This is tense and emotional.
Fortunately, this is outside of my experience.
Your description is vivid and compelling.
The ending is sad.

Cheers!
JzB

Paige said...

this is very good laurie - i want to read more.

Sharp Little Pencil said...

Laurie, turning this into a diary that recounts all the changes... brill. She sort of flushes down the toilet, in a way. I loved it. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/01/04/twofer/

Other Mary said...

Very well done...and sadly realistic.

Anders Woje Ellingsen said...

But is it true? May we really blame others for our own shortcomings? It is a serious question. We are indeed social creatures. But relationships may be abandoned. So to put it bluntly: Can a person be lead, be driven, to commit suicide?

Dave King said...

This seems a new departure for you - a very promising one, another string to your bow? Very impressive.

J Cosmo Newbery said...

I see nothing wrong with a little bit of recurring debauchery!

Interesting style - looking forward to see where you take it.

She Writes said...

This is haunting:
killer pace, this endless need for idle
thrills dangerously lurking on a golden precipice
of delusion until a new personality blossomed,
an evil twin oddly opposite from the girl;

(blogger reformatted, sorry!)
The piece has an eerie feel. It reads like the beginning of a novel I don't want to put down.

Judy Roney said...

You made something real and so sad out of this prompt. I have to reread to see why I have a feeling of such unrest after reading it. I think it's for all the poor souls this highlights. Wonderful job.