Saturday, November 19, 2011

Fleeting Moments (Puente form)

a planet in the night sky
a spark in crackling fires
an ice cube clinking crystal
a whiff of sweets the nose acquires

~pay attention to the little things ~

a stranger trapped in silence
an adult drowned in alcohol
a mindless one oblivious
a smolder brewing in the hall

@laurie kolp

Prompt inspiration: The Sunday Whirl (diamond, mindless, spark, fires, ice, smolder, oblivious, sky, silence, planet, trapped, drowned, fleeting)

*Click here to learn more about the Puente form

21 comments:

Eva Gallant said...

Some things are too easy to ignore.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Ah, so on point here, Laurie. I'm very happy to see the puente form being utilized. That bridge does provide an interesting twist to a poem.

kaykuala said...

Yes Laurie, It is true,little things not addressed can cause untold miseries at the most critical moment later! Good to be aware!

Hank

Margaret said...

You did such a good job with this.. I'm assuming the words In ( ) were the prompt words. They way you have it written, it flows. You connected them well.

vivinfrance said...

Excellent, Laurie. I'd not heard of puente as a poetic form. Puante in French means stinking, and that can't be right! I'm off to Google as soon as I've put the bread in the oven.

Mary said...

Little things can easily change to big things. Well crafted wordle, Laurie.

Laurie Kolp said...

Thanks. I added a link to Real Toads, where I learned about the puente form from Kerry.

Daydreamertoo said...

Very deep and meaningful. We sometimes don't see what lies beneath in our fleeting glances.
Great writing and thought provoking too.

Judy Roney said...

Wow, your poem sure wakes me up, Laurie. Cleverly and skillfully done. I love the transition from the first stanza to the last. Amazing!

whenwordsescape said...

Oooo - I like the form, Laurie.I will have to try it sometime! And the succinct use of the wordle words: wow. :)

nan said...

I too like this form! We went to similar places in a way...

Mike Patrick said...

I fell through the cracks in this bridge. Somehow I managed to miss puente in Real Toads, but your example is perfect, plus it rhymes, plus it’s from a wordle. Wow!

brenda w said...

The title is perfect. Sorry that I left fleeting off of the early words, but hey, look what it uncovered. :) This is good writing, Laurie. Your rhymes are natural.

Thank you for the introduction to the form. I haven't visited Real Toads for a while.

Steve E said...

Fleeting Moments (in Puente form). Hey Laurie, I could try this type writing, looks like real fun. Maybe write a bunch of bridging-the-gap "middle lines" then filling in the two verses--just kidding! But i AM going to try this...maybe for 'Open Line Wednesday' on dverse poets pub..Thanks!

Also thank for your comment on a past blog of mine about TREES? Yup! I agree, "God as I understand Him" has changed to simplicity itself. LOVE. (which I recently discovered is a verb, an 'action' word, but that's my own interpretation. OK?)

Nice to be here!
PEACE!

irene said...

Great vignettes Laurie. Vignettes is so French!

imnotaverse said...

This is a new form to me; I rather like it.

I love the ominous tone of the second stanza.

flaubert said...

Laurie, I love this and the form is very interesting. Nice one.

Pamela

Marianne said...

We miss a lot if we don't pay attention to the little things. Neat poem, Laurie. I will have to check out this form!

gautami tripathy said...

Loved this form. You kinda excelled!

oblivion

mjshorts said...

A wonderful poem Laurie.
I loved the stark contrast between the little things that we often fail to notice.
Off to follow your link and find out more about the Puente

Morning said...

rich imagery.