Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Rewritten

I think I've written this poem before
so correct me if I'm wrong,
the one about the quaint cafe;
a lover's tryst amidst the throng

or should I say a mob it was
of eavesdropping ears
trying to hear three words
that could melt away the years

of relationships cheating
the signs don't always behave
one double-crosses the other
breaks promises they gave

and all at once commitment
jettisons from the heart,
all because two lusty souls
were uncommitted from the start.

Does this sound familiar?
I'm sure I've said these words
in perhaps another voice,
a common theme not unheard.

Prompt inspiration: 3WW (behave, jettison, mob)

12 comments:

anthonynorth said...

Great words on the pit falls of life. Lovely flow to them, too.

MaryA said...

Touching and emotional.

Jessica Prescott said...

wonderful use of those three words, a good flow

jaerose said...

What a cleverly written piece..I feel like one of those eves droppers..picking up the story with my coffee..taking it home..like treasure..Jae

Eva Gallant said...

Ah, the things we overhear!

Sheilagh Lee said...

I like how you wrote this very clever.

Marie said...

Poignant, as life and love most
often is.

The Unknowngnome said...

It sounds familiar, the "lover's tryst admidst the throng", but I eavesdrop far too long and may have gotten it wrong.

Well rewritten Laurie. :)

Mary said...

Interesting to think of this 3WW piece from two different perspectives -- both the ones eavesdropped on and the eavesdropper. I don't think people realize sometimes how much another can hear in a public place. A very clever write...much to ponder.

Altonian said...

Some conversations are best kept out of public places. Nicely written.

Heaven said...

Nice perspective here... very creative use of the prompts ...enjoyed this ~

oldegg said...

This poem was so good. I could imagine the scene vividly.