Love

June has been a month of love.  Two of my nephews got married, one in town and one out of town.  The weddings were both so unique and beautiful.

While in the Dallas area for the second wedding, I also was able to see an old friend (whom I love dearly), Karen and visit two new friends (who share with me a common bond of poetry). 

We visited the Gaylord Texan while in Dallas and got to see a spectacular Alice in Wonderland display.

A nice visit was shared with my aunt and uncle whom I have not seen in awhile.

Great family fun was had by all.

Pushing the Button
by Laurie Kolp

A big rush through the door
and fireworks begin
bickering back and forth
I GET TO PUSH THE BUTTON- push
No, ME- she pushes
ME- he pushes
push, bell
push, bell
ME, ME
yell, bell
oh hell
up, down
then stop
push, bell
ME
NO, ME
door opens
he hops out
door slams shut
mom, baby and girl
stuck in elevator
while four-year-old
stands alone
in downtown lobby
push, push
oh hell
thoughts of homeless misers
no-good nothings
taking her child
enclose the mother’s mind
as feeble attempts
to open the door
fail
no mirrors
just space
closing in
confining
no phone,
no air,
can’t breathe
silence
too loud
time stops
fear motivates
adrenaline flows
strength returns
supermom
pulls the doors open
with all her might
the boy waits
smiling
only seconds
gone by
seemed
like a lifetime

Cyclical Love
by Laurie Kolp

When
fate
blindly
twists a knife
deep within one’s soul;
pain spews blood from mistaken deeds,

then
trust
withers
up and dies,
only weeds remain;
unwanted burdens spring forth sharp

sin
that
lustful
eyes reveal,
sexy fantasy;
vicious cycle’s return to fate.

Cut
by Laurie Kolp

true friendship is like a diamond
pure sparkling beauty from within
unbreakable
never letting go
steady as a rock
priceless, exquisite
peaceful as a Sunday afternoon
boy or girl makes no difference
promises of forever
can cut you up
like glass
beware

Pete's paper route

Pete and his newspapers:

This morning at 6:30 our doorbell began ringing incessantly.  I first thought there had been some kind of accident on our street and someone needed help.  A quick peek out the peephole revealed a little boy standing with something in his hands.  When I opened the door, he handed me the newspaper and said, "Here.  I ran out of bags."  Then I watched him get into the passenger side of a U-Haul and move down to the next house that received a newspaper.

I was reminded of my self-motivated husband's tenacity.  Pete's first job was as a paper boy when he was thirteen, and he rode his bike to deliver the newspapers.  In fact, Pete had a goal in mind; he wanted to buy a horse.  So he bagged the papers and threw them everyday, like a mailman who cannot let the weather slow him down (but Pete delivered his papers dry, unlike our mailman who delivers our mail sopping wet from his sweat).  Pete reached his goal and bought Sue, his first horse (pictured below).  What an accomplishment!

Shadows
by Laurie Kolp

shadows in the deep permeate the air
depths from which escape is futile
a school of fish unaware
preys victim to a dark alien
as oil’s silhouette without care
encapsulates, disintegrates
shadow’s umber beware

The Meaning of Trust
by Laurie Kolp

Trust...
start with a friend
(or loved one)
drive to a café
(must have character)
two coffee specialties
(no alcohol, please)
one sinful dessert
(Death by Chocolate)
add good conversation
(no calls, no texts)
a trip down memory lane
(not morbid reflection)
and future fantasies
(unlimited TMI)
briefly discussed
(must keep secrets)
but talk of today
(good and bad)
which is truly a gift
(affirmations, please)
shared with a friend
(or loved one)
is the meaning of trust.

Back to my roots...

  All my life I have tried to get approval from other people. Am I thinking it will make me feel better? It usually only makes me feel worse because I am not saying or doing what I really want.

A prime example is getting my hair done. I cannot tell you how many times I have switched hair dressers because I did not like what they had done to my hair. Now I have come to realize it's not their fault, it's mine. I never speak up when they say, "How do you like your hair?" Rather, I just smile and nod.  "Oh, that looks great," I say. Well, of course I'm going to like it because they have my hair all jazzed up looking like something off a Paris runway. But when I get home and do it myself, I change my mind... and it usually has to do with the color.

You see, I was born blonde. In fact when I was little everyone called me Goldilocks. 

I stayed blonde until I hit puberty and then my hair darkened up a little to dirty blonde.

When I was having babies and had raging hormones, for some reason my hair turned brown.

I did not like that, so I began getting my hair highlighted. What started as a few highlights eventually turned into a lot of blonde over the years. I had to get my hair done more often to keep the roots from showing. Soon I decided to do it myself. It turned red, then platinum blonde, then half of both; my hair looked horrible (I have no pictures of this insanity). My hair actually fell out (or something) while I was sleeping. I knew I needed help before the weddings this month. 

So I swallowed my pride and tried a new guy that a friend had recommended. He cut my hair in layers to make the broken section blend in, then we made an appointment to get my hair...umm...fixed... the next day. I specifically told him I wanted my hair darker because I was sick of fooling with it. Guess what? He did my hair his way (because my hair just looks so good this color) and now I'm stuck with roots three weeks later, right before the final wedding. Yes, we got along great and talked for hours like we were best friends, but he did not do what I asked. To top it off, I DID NOT SAY A WORD.

I am making progress though. The next week I called and told him my hair was lighter than I wanted, so he put some toner on it. Now the light, white blonde streaks are back, as are the dark roots.  UGH...I think I will just shave off my hair and start over.

What do you think?

Clouds
by Laurie Kolp

White and fluffy clouds
amidst deep blue sky
like cotton candy
willowy, wispy
slowly floating by

first a rabbit
then unicorn,
man on camel,
and saddle horn

oh what fun-
killing time
in the sun

lazy
hazy

days.

Birthday
by Laurie Kolp

morning cardinal
I hear your song, how’d you know
a sweet birthday wish

A day at Nicholas' first swim meet

Here Nicholas sits waiting for his first race...

...ready and waiting...

...on your mark, get set, go...

Nicholas wins his first race...yeah, Nicholas!

Sweet Seduction
by Laurie Kolp

our love affair began
on a sweltering day in May
I knew you were the one
as soon as you caught my eye
and the moment you touched my lips
there was no going back
your sweet milky caramel indulgence
pulled me over the edge
intoxicating me
fulfilling me
and now
I hear you call my name
every evening
I resist your seductive temptation
most of the time
but I want you
need you
I finally surrender
to my lover
my favorite
Haagen-Dazs
Dulce de Leche
you are no good for me
but I love you so

He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield...
~Psalm 91:4

Stuck in Insanity
by Laurie Kolp

stuck in a whirlwind of mass confusion
irrational thoughts flying hither and yon
crashing into zombies of pointless worry
and getting sucked in by odious obsession

only to be quieted by complete surrender
weary hands in the air waving desperately
finally letting go of running the show
quicksand disperses and sanity returns

Summer Haiku
by Laurie Kolp

tiptoes and giggles
barefoot girls, popcorn dance
piping hot pavement

Happy Birthday, Nicholas!

Yesterday was Nicholas' birthday. It is so hard to believe my baby is 7-years-old now. Time goes by so fast. I am grateful to be able to capture the moments in pictures. Here are some highlights of his very active birthday:

      

To Do List
by Laurie Kolp

The ad in the paper caught my eye one day
“Oil painting classes,” is what it did say.

“Portrait, figure, still life, landscape,”
A new way my creative thoughts could escape.

I cut the ad out and on my fridge it went
Right next to the illustrious sewing event.

“Someday I will do this,” went through my head,
"along with everything else to do before dead."

"Poo" on whistling

Do you know how to teach a child to whistle?  Poor Andrew feels bad because Nicholas can whistle and he can't, so we have been trying to teach him how to whistle.  All he is getting, though, are some good laughs and a lot of crazy suggestions.  Pete and I whistle differently, so we both tried to teach Andrew "our way."  Nothing happened.  We even looked on the Internet and found silly ideas to try.  Saying words like pah, tuka, dada, ladle, loo, oodle, you-you-you, oy-oy-oy-oy and oy-you while looking in a mirror got us nowhere.  Of course, saying poo over and over had us in stitches. Breathing in and out while puckering up made Andrew practically hyperventilate.  After all these attempts, Nicholas said he did not know how to whistle anymore and Andrew learned nothing.  And Katie?  She escaped to her room when we started this silly nonsense.

Do you have any suggestions for teaching Andrew to whistle?

Spanish Moss an unruly teenager?
by Laurie Kolp

Why must you hang around
like long stringy bangs
on an unruly teenager?

Your dark and mysterious wisps
smother a jaded beauty within
leaving impressions of
oblivious violation,
while your thick
dark cobwebs
entangle branches
of a ravished,
victimized body
and cloud the truth;
I see you in shades of gray
looking back at me like a rebel.

A bittersweet image~
an all-consuming parasite
with long stringy bangs
on an unruly teenager;
you are.

A Much Needed Break
by Laurie Kolp

Eluding thoughts dispel my muse
something which a break requires
I turn to the window on my left
nature’s remedy calms my nerves
and the nose-smudged glass
reminds me the dogs need water.

I hit save and see the card,
“Please be patient, God isn’t
finished with me yet,” a humbling
reminder of my imperfections
I bow my head in thanks
breathe in good, breathe out bad
peace fills my body with warmth.

Hazel eyes are captured by smiles
our family photo not long ago reveal
seven clad in white shirts and jeans
minus five others meant to be there
talk of divorce came down like hail
and marred their portrait plans
I thank God for my blessings
and set forth to complete my task.

Mystery
by Laurie Kolp

It all started with a misplaced phone
a frantic search through purse and car
which led to a speedy trip back home
a tornado mess she conjured up
amid a whirlwind of great despair
floodgates of tears pouring out
frustration increasing to panic mode
gone just like that
her friends
her work
her life as she knows it now.

Thoughts of identity theft filled her mind
like a sentinel when danger lurks
how would she protect herself
from those big strong arms
the violation and ruination
sure to come and take her down
she falls and hits the ground
twists and turns in great despair
like a toddler in a tantrum
she stops and stares
under the bed
and grabs her phone with a smile.

Bored already?

I knew Saturday when Nicholas blurted out, "I'm bored!" at 9:00 a.m., less than 24 hours since school let out, that we would be in for a long summer.  Blowing bubbles, walking around with old school boxes on your head shouting, "I have a box on my head," and watching the Mad Hatter do his dance over and over and over again can only entertain him for so long. 

With all the summer activities we have planned, none of the kids should be bored for very long.  Saturday at 9:05 a.m., we signed up for the library's summer reading program.  Katie and Andrew love to read, but to get Nicholas to read, someone has to listen to him read aloud.  If not, he will take a Harry Potter book, disappear in his room for a few minutes, and come back out waving the book and proclaiming that he is done reading it.  Katie is the only one who reads books in one day.

Swimming is a favorite around this house.  The hours for free swim are limited this year because of a swim team moving to the club, but that's okay; we signed Nicholas up for the team.  The others did not want to participate (Katie is in competitive dance and Andrew is in Taekwondo), but Nicholas loves it.  In fact he is barely tired after his long practices.  A never-ending appetite might put a damper on our grocery bills, though.

Another thing we usually do in the summer is have a garage sale.  The kids are cleaning out their rooms and getting rid of "stuff" they no longer want.  Of course it practically takes an act of Congress to get them motivated.  The boys share a room so disagreement is sure to take place, followed by having fun with newly rediscovered toys.  Katie tends to brilliantly rearrange her mess, letting go of very little.  Even so, we end up with a nice assortment of items for the garage sale.

This weekend, we have the first of two June weddings.  Because of the expense from these, we will be traveling very little this summer.  Day trips to the beach (Bolivar Peninsula) are fun and inexpensive, so we will be doing that often (God willing).

Hopefully the kids will soon get into the summer routine so we can relax and enjoy it...one day at a time. 

How do you tackle summertime boredom?

The Symphony of Life
by Laurie Kolp

I am but one in this symphony of life
I play my instrument the best I can
Sometimes I play off-key, sometimes not

My God is the conductor of this melody
I listen peacefully for His guiding words
I am but one in this symphony of life

The rhythm of the drums, my beating heart
Spreads forth nostalgic euphoria
I play my instrument the best I can

Tick tock, the metronome drones on and on
Good versus evil a constant temptation
Sometimes I play off-key, sometimes not

Telestitch- an acrostic with the final letters of each line making the words.

FLY AWAY
by Laurie Kolp

Tragedy in the gulf,
water becomes oil;
everyone must pray.

Is this the alpha
beginning of life anew,
or is this the omega
beginning of our last day?

Summer Boredom
by Laurie Kolp

Our house is not a playground
our house is not a zoo,
you are not a monkey
and I am not a shrew,
it’s not too hot to play outside
it’s not too hot for you,
go run and skip and jump awhile
go run a mile or two,
but don’t go nuts this summer
or sit around and rue,
this mom is trying hard enough
but her patience just might spew.

Coffee Grinds
by Laurie Kolp
Naive eyes stir raw emotion

within her troubled heart
as coffee’s soothing aroma
percolates a passion, a yearning
that pours through her weary soul,
and she is blinded by a mirage
of disappearing images-
his irresistible face,
his mocha-like hair,
his sweet plump lips-
showered in a rain of pain,
and their love transforms
into puddles of muddy grind.

No Control
by Laurie Kolp

The bitter taste comes over me
like a shadow in the sun,
an undeniable hatred
not to be undone.

Coffee and tobacco breath
lingers in my head,
memories of your abuse
an all-consuming dread.

Light green eyes cannot hide
the darkness of your soul,
how you held me prisoner
in evil’s shallow hole.

While this song reminds me
of a time way back when,
our young innocent love
soon became controlling sin.

All of the sudden it's too hot

It seems like as soon as June 1st arrived, the heat has crossed the line from bearable to miserable.  Just last week I was walking everyday at 2:00 and now I can't bear the heat.  What happened?  One thing I do know is that school should be out already, but the buses are still running.

This has been a very interesting and exhausting week; I can't believe it is only Wednesday.  So far we have had three field trips, two picnics (one at the school, the other at a park) and two awards ceremonies.  Tomorrow we have another field trip and awards ceremony.  The kids finish up on Friday with a half day.  We are all eagerly awaiting that day.

Here are a few highlights so far:

1. Andrew's awards ceremony was the first awards ceremony for the school.  Traditionally the entire grade level assembles in the cafeteria, each teacher says something special about the kids, and then hands out awards as proud parents look on.  Since we are in a "portable school" this year while the new one is being built, there is not enough space to get everyone together inside.  So someone thought it would be nice to carry this traditional activity outside.  A tarp was put up big enough for only half of the parents, and the children had to sit in the blaring hot sun for an hour and a half.  To make a long story short, a girl passed out from heat exhaustion and Andrew's face got sunburned (had I known they would be in the sun, I would have applied sunscreen).  They also went outside for PE and recess and to tell you the truth, I think Andrew had heat exhaustion last night.  The school decided to hold the rest of the awards ceremonies in each teachers classroom.

2.  Nicholas got a very unique award made only for him.  When his teacher called him up to receive his awards, she talked about the "personality" in the class (not just Nicholas).  She said that because Nicholas can talk his way out of just about anything, he gets "The person most likely to become a lawyer" award.

3.  Katie has been all over the Golden Triangle the past couple of days; the Stark Museum and Shangri La in Orange, and the Gulf Coast Museum in Port Arthur.  Each day they followed up with lunch and play at area parks.  Katie's awards ceremony is tomorrow, but she did receive a nice medal today for her musical competition that made it to state.  Her beautiful piano piece, Music Is.. was part of the national "Reflections" competition. 

                            Hopefully tomorrow it will rain!

Little Miss Busybody
by Laurie Kolp

Little Miss Busybody
met Mr. Clodhopper
on a warm and cloudy day,
while searching for
a satellite dish
willing to try a modern way.

Little Miss Busybody,
curious about the country boy,
followed him throughout the store.
Mr. Clodhopper turned and said,
with a flash in his baby blue eyes,
“What are you hounding me for?”

Little Miss Busybody
folded her skinny arms
and gave him a knowing look,
“I want you to help me
with this satellite dish,
and then for you I will cook.”

Little Miss Busybody
helped him load his truck
then told him to follow behind.
When she lost him along the way
the talk of the town she became;
Mr. Clodhopper had robbed her blind.

Traffic Jam
by Laurie Kolp

Creeping in from nowhere without warning or care
and robbing me of all rational or sane thoughts,
I am riddled by this urgent compulsion
to lash out and strike like an angry snake.
Incoherence buried in piles of rubble
creates distemper and unease;
I am paralyzed by constant fear
that if I tell you what I think,
my words will merely reverberate
like an errant driver in a
motionless traffic jam.
What happened?