Big Tent Poetry’s prompt for this week was to take an old poem and revise it. This one was written two years ago when my middle child received his first holy communion. Since my youngest is doing the same thing this weekend, I thought it would be fun to work on it.
The Big Monument
Happy parents, friends and family
gathered together to proudly see,
their sweet young girl or boy
receive first holy communion with joy.
Flowers decorated the altar and pews
and everyone dressed in their best shoes.
Together they prayed in reverence
and watched with glee the innocence.
As each one took the bread and wine,
the choir sang glorious tunes divine.
After the service, all went to the hall
to celebrate with cake and pictures for all.
The day was a tremendously fine event,
one not to be forgotten; a big monument.
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My revised version, as you can see, is completely different. Which one do you like better?
A Momentous Occasion
Together friends and family
gather in church pews, ends
decorated with innocent banners
honorees made for the joyous
occasion. Proud parents beam with joy,
their bribed children sit in a straight
row, gelled hair combed just right;
some with wiggly toes seeking release
from confining shoes. Innocent girls
dressed in lacy white bridal-like
gowns, debonair boys donning dark
suits and ties wait in line to taste
their first holy communion and sip
sweet wine, while behind a forest
of fragrant Easter lilies adorns
the joyous altar. Reverent prayer
sings within the choir until the fine
event ends. Pictures are snapped,
refreshments served. Everyone
leaves the hall ready to change
into more comfortable clothes.
@laurie kolp