Monday, May 14, 2012
Break Through: How To End Relationship Dysfunction
"Alarms are intended to spur us into immediate, lifesaving action. Yet people who wouldn't consider staying in a building when the fire alarm goes off will stay in enmeshed relationships after numerous wake-up calls." (Break Through, pg.54)
Break Through by Dr. Tim Clinton, LPC & Pat Springle is a Christian-based book on how to create healthy relationships as adults. It includes real-life examples, Christian/Bible references, and study guide questions at the end of each chapter. It speaks of real love as nonpossessive wealth and shows how to love like Jesus.
Many get trapped in enmeshed relationships of enabling and justification rather than honesty and tough love, which is something we carry over from childhood. Tim and Pat (which is how they refer to themselves throughout the book) help the reader identify these patterns and learn to break through the barriers to change.
The book also speaks of moral schizophrenia, and how we blame ourselves and then blame others for certain unhealthy relationships in which we become trapped. It shows us how to set boundaries, gain wise adult-like trust and confront those we love with the truth rather than continuing to enable them. Change doesn't come easy, but it can happen with consistency.
I really enjoyed the book because it's interesting and easy to read. It touches upon many forms of dysfunction so that just about anyone can relate. I like the practical application advice as well as the appendix, which includes a guide for parenting. There is also an outline on how to use this book in a group setting. The Christian touch is like homemade chocolate icing on your favorite cake. I think you'll agree.
*Click here if you'd like to order the book.*
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Great review. This book is a game-changer for those who need help setting boundaries in their life. Some of us try too hard to control others; others of us allow ourselves to be manipulated, even bullied. This book addresses both these dysfunctions but offers real life examples of how to change. You mention the appendix on parenting. Here’s a link to an article which expands on the principles presented in the book: http://www.wikihow.com/Raise-Respectful%2C-Confident-Teenagers
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