Sunday, January 20, 2013

Two Points of View

via Wiki under CC Author=
from Canada
Sorong Amethystine Scrub Python

It inhabits
the ecoregion
of the victim's
digestive tract
slithers through
intestinal tunnels
ulcerates with
pustulous fangs
then recoils
until the next

Go ahead,
have the last
word. I’ll watch
you flinch with
each inch as I
slither closer,
squinch at HISS-
ing sounds, rebound
venomous snaps.
Go ahead,
have the last
word. I’ll watch
you recoil as I
coil around
your hips,
squeeze you
like a wet rag
until vile drips
from your
quivering lips.
You came
to the wrong
place, go ahead



Unknown said...

Prompt shmomt! A poem is... And you did a great job, here.

Hannah said...

I enjoyed the first Laurie, and thought, as I'd commented on it before that the language you used brought a definite snake-like-tone with the added bonus of causing me to search out more about the disease you mention which a close friend of mine has. Your second one definitely takes on the POV and you draw your reader in very effectively with a super tense situation.

Written well, both of them...I'm glad you included the first again...I stated this before but I said that we need to respect the muse.

Warm smiles to you~Hannah

ScottlB said...

A hissing poem indeed, one of the two things that really scare me.

Brian Miller said...

ha. i rather like the second...def sounds like one i would not want to messsssss with...ssssmilesssss....

Grace said...

Lovely offering Laurie ~ I must say the second was a stronger voice, with sounds, like go ahead and make my day ~

Janie said...

Loved it! Great job putting yourself in the mind of the serpent :)

Mary said...

This is good, Laurie. I can really feel the vileness of this serpent.

Susie Clevenger said...

Goodness...I can hear the snake hiss. I am fascinated with snakes. They are amazing creatures.

Karen said...

I loved the first...and the second! Frightening and powerful, both.

Unknown said...

Gave me chills!