Showing posts with label brain tumor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brain tumor. Show all posts

Saturday, November 20, 2010

My bried frain ... (fried brain)

As you can probably tell by my lengthy absence, I am completely immersed in this novel writing, poem-a-daying month of insanity.  I am handling it fairly well, though, considering the fact that my brain is now mush when I am not writing.   For example, I find myself saying words wrong, like "dit sown" instead of "sit down," and sentences are coming out scrambled, like "Minute in, I'll be with you."

Today I rejoiced in the realization that I was on the home stretch and might actually finish this sucker
before Thanksgiving.  I was revelling in the fact that I would have to go way over the limit just to complete the ending. 

I told Pete, "I reached 40,000 words.  I only have 5,000 to go!"

"I thought it was supposed to be 50,000 words," he answered.

"No, it's 45,000," I corrected him.  "Isn't it?"

"We've been talking about 50 from the beginning, remember?"

I had to go to the NaNoWri website and double check!  Of course, Pete was right.  Just last night I knew it was 50,000; what happened today?  At times I think I am suffering from a brain tumor. 

There have been other lapses of memory this month, too.  I find the fabric softener sheet in the washing machine,  forget things here and there.  Words I normally know how to spell, I have to look up in the dictionary, and I can't even remember what words to look up in a thesaurus.  Minutes turn into hours, hours to days and now it is the 20th.  I mean, what has happened to this month?  When did the Salvation Army ringer start standing outside stores?  How come other people have Christmas decorations up and I am still thinking Halloween? (Actually it is probably because I am the one eating all the candy for fake energy.)  Sometimes I just want to scream.

When I get on Facebook, my fingers are so used to typing fast, that somehow when I try to comment on somebody's status, I have done something (not sure what) so fast that instead of a comment, it shows up as a "like."  I am actually writing a comment and-- 'Voila!'-- suddenly the screen turns white and returns with the thumbs up sign waving in my face.  And I have no idea what happened.  For example, a friend wrote that she had the stomach bug.  I was going to write, "Sorry... I hope the kids don't get it," but my fingers did something, and the You Like This thumb appeared for all to see.  Huh, as if I like my friend being sick!  It was quite embarrassing; I am really a sensitive gal.  It has happened another time, too.  But when I rechecked the comment, I decided my liking it was not as offensive as the other one.  The person said that she was drowning in work for a big presentation the next day.  Maybe liking it sounded supportive?  I just don't know anymore. 

Oh well, it's November... what can I say?  Except, of course, thanks to my understanding family who doesn't mind at all if we eat nothing fancy for a month, and for my friends cheering me on.  I love you guys!