Why cardinals?

A friend of mine who has just recently started reading this blog asked me, "Why cardinals?" 

I shared my experience with the red birds since the death of my dear friend, Mary; how their crimson color of love appears to me at times of great sadness, and fills my body with a peace that tingles from my head to my toes.  I know everything will be okay when I see cardinals.

Come to find out my friend had the same thing happen after the death of her loved one; cardinals began appearing to her, too.  This is the same friend who cheered me on during NaNoWriMo- before we had even discovered our "connection."   

Picture ornaments of Mary and Sadie, and white dove in memory of Ms. Angelle surrounded by a bevy of cardinals

Last night when the kids and I began decorating the Christmas tree Pete had so laboriously assembled with 900 lights, I was reminded of the significance of my crimson bird friend.  And as I unwrapped cardinal after cardinal to hang on the tree, I realized it had been a while since I had last seen one (remember, I had been glued to the computer for three weeks).  Then I came across picture ornaments in memory of Mary, Ms. Angelle and our dog Sadie, (who died in-between them).  I reminisced over happy times as I decorated the tree.  When I went to bed, I asked God to please never stop sending me cardinals. 

This morning I was at the computer before church typing my poem for the PAD Challenge, when Pete walked over to me.  (The entire back wall by my computer is a row of bay-like windows. Pete had covered up the one right by my computer  at the beginning of November because the sun created a glare, and the hot and cold weather seeped through while I did my work. The other windows remain uncovered).

"The only bad thing about blocking the light from your computer is that you can't see the family of cardinals playing out back right now," he said.

I hopped up from my computer and looked out on the patio.  Flashes of red caught my eyes as I watched the cardinals dance; male and female, big and little.  There must have been six or eight cardinals on the other side of the glass.  Reveling in the miracle before me, I knew God would always provide for me when I ask.  I prayed for a cardinal and He sent me a family; God is just like that!

I thought I could and I did

This little engine thought she could.  Up, up the hill she went, moving slowly at times, yet still persevering and never giving up.  She made it through the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge-- to write a novel in one month's time-- never giving up the hope. 

Endless obstacles she encountered: daily chores, tending to children's school and extra-curricular activities, weekend madness, Thanksgiving feasts at schools and a week without school for the kids; yet she kept on chugging along.  Yes, this little engine wanted to accomplish her goal so badly that she pushed through, even when she didn't feel like it. 

At one point near the end, the going got tough; her head began to hurt, her eyesight got weaker and her neck and shoulders became so stiff, she thought she might fall off course.  But wonderful friends, especially her angel Pearl, cheered her along.  At times, doubt crept in and she thought she was insane to attempt this feat in November (of all months).  Sometimes she even felt it was all for nothing.  Still, she continued forward with a vengeance.  Why?  Because she needed to; she needed to make it across the finish line.  If you are a writer, you will understand.


Yesterday, November 23, 2010 at approximately 10:00 p.m., I finished my novel.  I was a close second to my writing buddy Pearl who, because of my brain hiccup (when I thought the word count was only 45,000 instead of 50,000) thought I would finish on the 22nd and so typed furiously away in order to finish on the same day.  And she still continued to cheer me on.  Thank you, my dear Pearl. 

I also could not have finished last night if Pete hadn't taken the kids to the Harry Potter movie.  It was difficult for me to miss that movie, but I was able to complete my goal.  And guess what?  It felt great! 

Now comes the hard part of editing, revising and polishing, but I'm in no hurry on that... today.

              HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

My bried frain ... (fried brain)

As you can probably tell by my lengthy absence, I am completely immersed in this novel writing, poem-a-daying month of insanity.  I am handling it fairly well, though, considering the fact that my brain is now mush when I am not writing.   For example, I find myself saying words wrong, like "dit sown" instead of "sit down," and sentences are coming out scrambled, like "Minute in, I'll be with you."

Today I rejoiced in the realization that I was on the home stretch and might actually finish this sucker
before Thanksgiving.  I was revelling in the fact that I would have to go way over the limit just to complete the ending. 

I told Pete, "I reached 40,000 words.  I only have 5,000 to go!"

"I thought it was supposed to be 50,000 words," he answered.

"No, it's 45,000," I corrected him.  "Isn't it?"

"We've been talking about 50 from the beginning, remember?"

I had to go to the NaNoWri website and double check!  Of course, Pete was right.  Just last night I knew it was 50,000; what happened today?  At times I think I am suffering from a brain tumor. 

There have been other lapses of memory this month, too.  I find the fabric softener sheet in the washing machine,  forget things here and there.  Words I normally know how to spell, I have to look up in the dictionary, and I can't even remember what words to look up in a thesaurus.  Minutes turn into hours, hours to days and now it is the 20th.  I mean, what has happened to this month?  When did the Salvation Army ringer start standing outside stores?  How come other people have Christmas decorations up and I am still thinking Halloween? (Actually it is probably because I am the one eating all the candy for fake energy.)  Sometimes I just want to scream.

When I get on Facebook, my fingers are so used to typing fast, that somehow when I try to comment on somebody's status, I have done something (not sure what) so fast that instead of a comment, it shows up as a "like."  I am actually writing a comment and-- 'Voila!'-- suddenly the screen turns white and returns with the thumbs up sign waving in my face.  And I have no idea what happened.  For example, a friend wrote that she had the stomach bug.  I was going to write, "Sorry... I hope the kids don't get it," but my fingers did something, and the You Like This thumb appeared for all to see.  Huh, as if I like my friend being sick!  It was quite embarrassing; I am really a sensitive gal.  It has happened another time, too.  But when I rechecked the comment, I decided my liking it was not as offensive as the other one.  The person said that she was drowning in work for a big presentation the next day.  Maybe liking it sounded supportive?  I just don't know anymore. 

Oh well, it's November... what can I say?  Except, of course, thanks to my understanding family who doesn't mind at all if we eat nothing fancy for a month, and for my friends cheering me on.  I love you guys!

Cheers with Pearl

Now that I am a week into the whole NaNoWriMo thing, I have to admit it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I mean, to tackle a 50,000 word novel in less than a month is HUGE.  It requires dedication and determination, with no room for deviation; and now that the first weekend has come and gone, I know this is going to be harder than I first thought. Saturday and Sunday I found myself less inclined to sit and write for long periods of time like I do during the week.  The interruptions were many and my concentration quickly diminished.  I started to think of this challenge as a nuisance.  In fact, I even began doubting my story line.  I grew envious of writers who take retreats or sabbaticals to write free of distraction.  How would I accomplish this insurmountable feat?

Well...

Again, God has sent someone special into my life to help me through.  Pearl is a friend from Poetic Asides (The Street) who is also participating in NaNoWriMo.  She sent me a cheer the other day, then I reciprocated, and now we are helping each other stay motivated.  Here are some of the encouraging words (cheers) between us...

Pearl:  Go Laurie, Siss Boom Bah, Who do I recognize on The Street from afar!!! Go LAURIE!!!

Laurie:  Give me a P, give me an E, give me an A, give me an R, give me an L... what does that spell?  PEARL, PEARL, G-o-ah, Pearl!  You're on!

Pearl:  Rah Rah Siss Boom Bah
50,000 not for Laurie fah.... I mean far ...lol..< 3
Keep planting a sapling with about 1800 leaves a day and together we'll have our forest before the turkey 's on the table ♥

Laurie:  Go Pearl, go Pearl/ write those words, bird by bird/ Go Pearl, go Pearl / don't give up, fill that cup! Yeah, Pearl! Corny, I know, but my brain is fuzz right now. ; )

Pearl:  Laurie.. you are a sweetie...my brain was fried earlier .. so we were fuzz and fried... Mhmm Fuznfride sounds like a lovely town in Switzerland.. perhaps outside Zurich. Sweet dreams. Enjoy tomorrow and keep attaching those leaves to the trees ♥

Laurie:  Sounds like a fantastic setting! Night, night Fried. Hope you wake up nice and fresh for a day of writing.

Pearl:  Laurie Laurie you're my pal
Told me your numbers and got me to match the tal
YAY TEAM! (as a team we're almost done!)..
GET THAT TURKEY READY WE'RE COMING ♥

Laurie:  We're so great, we're so fine
We'll make it to that final line!
GO Write! Don't fight!
Word by word
We'll see the light!

Pearl:  YAY YAY LHK ♥
WE WILL GO ALL THE WAY ♥
WRITE THROUGH
YOU - YOU - YOU
L - H - K ♥

Laurie:  Go, team (NaNoWriMo)! Go, team! Who do I mean? I'll say it loud, because I'm proud! P-E-A-R-L! L-A-U-R-I-E! ; )

Pearl:  Got two sessions of writing yesterday.... Frankly wasn't at all comfortable with here I was pushing story in second session....this morning wrote some more.... So I'm okay for family football game this afternoon. Now back for a snooze....happy writing..., partner... ♥

Laurie:  Yeah, today will be a little harder for me, but I got up to 15,139 yesterday. Have a great day, too!

Thank you Pearl, for adding some cheer in my doubtful head...and thank you GOD, for sending Pearl my way.

Ready, set, go!

I am so amazed at how my fingers always seem to have it more together than I do.  I mean, yesterday was the first day of November, and I knew that I had to get busy writing a novel for NaNoWriMo, BUT I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS GOING TO WRITE ABOUT. 

I had been praying to God for several days to inspire me with a plot for this new novel or even just a few words to get started, and still no lightbulb had gone off (no dumb blonde jokes, okay?).  I woke up bright and early, wasted time on Facebook, checked email and sent the kids off to school; then I had to go to the dentist.  I bemoaned myself Sunday night for making an appointment to get my teeth cleaned on the day after Halloween, but since it was the first day of NaNoWriMo I decided to go.  I told the dentist and hygenist what I would be doing this month and when they asked me what I was writing about, I really had no clue yet.

"We'll see," I said. "I'm not really sure yet."

They both looked at me perplexed.  I was even beginning to doubt my own capabilities.  I usually had something in mind, at least when I have written books before, which I have.  The first one is based on my life written in third person so that nobody will know it's about me (in case the kids should read it).  That was my very first book, written after confiding in a friend about my crazy, demented past.

"Wow! You should write a book," she had said when I was done talking.  I mean how many people can have all that happen to them before they turn thirty? 

And so the seed was planted.  I wrote and wrote, relived the past, poured hours over this project and finished it; but I was too shy to share it with anyone.  Until Mary, that is.  She read the whole book word for word, and we sat in amazement as we compared how similar our pasts had been.  And then she died, and my book has been sitting in a drawer for nearly three years.

The other book I've written (but not completed) began when I was taking a class from Lamar's Continuing-Ed department.  We were given a prompt and I took off on that one, baby.  That's when I knew my fingers were messengers of God.  I mean, where did this stuff come from?  Part of the reason I've sat on it for so long is that I am in FEAR.  The topic has become so complex and unbelievable that thoughts of the children reading it are too much to bear.  What will they think of their sweet old mommy?  I guess I'll have to use a pen name or something.  I know how I want it to end, but am not sure when I want to end.  This story will remain shelved for a bit longer.

So now I am embarking on this third book.  Thankfully, a thought inspired me sometime after lunch yesterday and I went to bed having written 1,697 words AND a poem for the Poem-A-Day Challenge (see my other blog, Conversation With Laurie).  I spent a great amount of time this morning working on it, took a break for lunch and chores, and am now procrastinating again.  At least I'll know when my fingers are ready to begin again.

November brings challenges

Some of my friends' published books

 As October draws to a close, most people are gearing up for the holidays.  How can you not?  Halloween items have been displayed in some stores since the end of August, and have been marked down already to make room for the Christmas items coming out since the beginning of October! 

All of the festivities and anticipation of the joyous season might have some of you excited and giddy, but not me.  You know why?  November is a very busy month for writers, and I am facing some big deadlines starting in a few days.

You see, November is National Poetry month and National Novel Writing month.  For several years I have participated in Robert Lee Brewer's Poetic Asides Challenge- to write a poem everyday in November (he does another challenge in April).  This challenge is not that great for me anymore, since I already write poems everyday with my Baker's Dozen group of poets from all over the world.  But this month, I am also taking the NaNoWriMo Challenge -to write a book in a month...and in November?  I know, I must be crazy, but I do like a good challenge. 

So as you are festing up for the holidays, please remember me.  I will be furiously pecking away at my computer while the kids are at school and after they go to bed.  Such is the life of a writer.