Wednesday, October 26, 2011

This thing we call time...

"I can't believe how long it's been since we last talked!"

Haven't you ever said that to a loved one or a friend after too much time has gone by since you last talked to them or even saw them? I sure have, and I'm saying that to you now. I can't believe how much I've slacked on this blog. I do have some very justifiable reasons as we all do when our defense mechanism kicks in: the kids are keeping me busy, Pete's night classes are taking a toll on me, I've been concentrating on my poetry, the dog ate my homework... oops, that's an excuse for something else. Anyway, you get the drift.

I remember when the kids were little. People would tell me to enjoy this time because once they start school, it will fly faster than a flight to New York. It was a little hard for me to believe them as I was consumed by poopy diapers, fitful nights, mysterious illnesses, trips to the ER and the list goes on. All I could think was, "Is this ever going to end?"

And now they are well into school and I find myself wondering where all the time has gone.

Yesterday I went to my ENT for a checkup (remember my Meniere's Disease?). It had been two years since my last visit and I am happy to say I've been dizzy-free (except for those blonde moments). He has me on a daily regimen of Zyrtec and Astepro nasal spray to control the fluid build-up in my ears.  Time has been good to me in that respect.

Until I mentioned to the specialist how my hearing in my left ear seems to be weakening at which they proceeded to give me a hearing test. It showed a definite decrease in the hearing in my left ear since the last test.

"You're too young for that," Doc said. "We need to find out what the problem is. It can be a virus or perhaps a tumor (malignant)."

Tumor? Oh my, God how I 'awful-ize' things. I went from little tumor in my middle ear, malignant at that, to an inoperable brain tumor in a matter of seconds. The rest was just a whirl: heavy-duty steroids, come back for an ABR test, then maybe an MRI... blah, blah, blah.

And I'm thinking about my jumbled speech, headaches, saggy left eye, the problems I've had with my left shoulder (of course, I'm a little dramatic at this point). The time I need to live, please dear God.

{Today I started my steroids so I WILL be a writer/poet on steroids for a week or two.}

Time, time, time... I have to wait for you now. In the meantime, I'll try to catch up with those (friends, loved ones) who have snuck by because of... well, because of me.


Linda H. said...

I know all too well what you are going through. Hopefully they will find the problem quickly and handle it so you can be back to the same 'ol wonderful you. In the meantime, you know where I am, girlfriend.

~HUG~ (this one is a big bear hug)

Michelle said...

Sending you prayers for healing and strength, tons of good thoughts and hugs!


PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

I hope your health problems are gotten under control in short order. My mind would go to similar 'places', given that kind of new.

I'm your newest follower. Please stop by and say hi.

Jeni said...

You are going to be okay dear Laurie! You know it!! xxoo I believe it! xxoo

I know how you feel though.... My memory doesn't always work so of course I automatically think I have the on-set of Alsheimers. LOL My hubby says I just have too much going on and I'm too busy! In other words, information overload. Wouldn't it be funny if we had a red light above our head that lit up when the "memory was full" - time to go to Best Buy to add some memory storage. hehe. In other words, I know how you feel dear Laurie. we just need to stay positive. What happens is meant to be. love you....xo