Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler!

I’m feeling kind of fat today
it is Mardi Gras after all
and not to sound too cliché
but I once drank
like a fish on Fat Tuesday-
now I’m drunk on sugar.
Yes, I ate a veggie sub on wheat
so I could finish off the ice cream
much more than I thought was in that tub,
but I spooned it down like a sick kid’s Jell-o
no more caramel goo and sweet cream
no more dulce de leche for moi
in fact Häagen-Dazs can kiss my ass
I’m going on the (dairy) wagon for Lent
but right now I’m rolling down the street
feeling sicker than a Cajun on Ash Wednesday-
Laissez les bon temps rouler!

@laurie kolp

A bachelorette party at the mall?

I spent the entire day at the mall, but I wasn't shopping. I was there to support Katie as she danced with her competition team (Nicholas performed hip-hop, too). It's like a weekend-long recital. The dance studio sets up in the middle of the mall where Santa will soon be sitting amidst a wonderland of fake snow (but right now it feels like a sauna because the skylights let in too much August heat). As the day wore on, I became a little anxious and frazzled; nothing unusual for most moms, right?

Well, apparently there were more hot and bothered moms at the other end of the mall.

After lunch one of the girl's grandmothers, who is also a friend, walked up to me and asked if I had seen what happened. I was astounded by her words. My mind started to whirl.

A mother flashed lots of people by Dillard's? You're kidding? What has become of today's society?

I could just see it now; Mardi Gras madness in the mall.

My friend proceeded to tell me about the incident. She said a ruckus broke out when two of the moms started playing tug-o-war with a purse. People whipped out there phones and began taking pictures. Massive crowds gathered. For some odd reason, many froze like mannequins in display windows. Several even... planked?

They exercised? This is getting weirder by the minute.

Apparently a good-looking man in a suit showed up. He broke up the catfight and then ripped his shirt open.

Oh, my God, a male stripper. Maybe it's a bachelorette party at the mall?

"He was wearing a Superman shirt underneath his suit! You want to see the pictures I took?" She said.

"What did you say this was?" I finally asked.

"A flash mob."

"OOhhh.... I thought you had asked me if I'd seen the flash MOM."

I told you I'm hard of hearing.

*****

Click here for more about today's event.

'tween's response to a king cake surprise

raspberry and cream cheese swirling.
cinnamon roll decadence.
thick as paste.
sweet icing white, green and purple.
mouth-watering temptation.
feast before fast.
suzy 'tween waiting.
a piece for two.
savory delight.
careful.
slow.
mmm.
until.
teeth crunch down on plastic.
suzy's mouth opens.
pink plastic hits plate.
the singing begins:
"it was like
baby, baby, baby, oh...."

©Laurie Kolp

Big Tent prompt: Wordle

Another delightful wordle from Big Tent Poetry this week, only this time with an added challenge to include phrases. I was able to use all of the twelve wordle words and one phrase in this piece- “Say more.” And of course I used "He started by___" as my title.

I challenge you to use the final phrase, "There is also the matter of ___" in a comment.  Can't wait to see what you come up with. Enjoy!

He Started by Fire

A Mardi Gras parade

Thundering beats vibrating within an empty heart

Tangled with long forgotten memories begging to wake

A Tina Turner thigh kicking and marching

A typical boyish flame ignited in reckless passion

Now a feral animal in search of prey

Following plums and melons, jewels and crowns

A knowing smile no words can defy

A burning question only her gasp can suffice

His elbow a machete clearing the way

Through a thick forest of merry-makers

His feet slipping on spilt beer

Trampling on others

A wild hog in the blurry woods

Faster and faster he runs

His mind lost in the crowd

Yells and drums and music

Drown taunting thoughts

Until “Wait!” escapes his parched lips

He wants to say more

He watches her slip away

Gasping for the very breath she gave

  

...and it's a King Cake baby!

Having lived in Southeast Texas most of my life and New Orleans, too, I have to admit that each year when Mardi Gras approaches, I get excited. Not that we participitate in it anymore, but childhood memories die hard. I remember going to the New Orleans Mardi Gras parades as a child in the early 70s and sitting on my dad's shoulders as I watched the bands and floats go by. We used to go to annual parties decorated with purple, gold and elaborate food, my favorite being the king cake. I wasn't real sure at the time what the grown-ups were doing, but I was always having fun playing with the other kids.
Now I can walk into any grocery store and king cakes bombard the bakery aisles. Our extended family buys several king cakes every year, and the person that gets the 'baby' buys the next cake- this is our standard procedure around Mardi Gras time.
This year is extra special because we get to welcome a new baby boy into the family shortly after Mardi Gras. The dear sweet couple is busy nesting and preparing for their new addition to the family (believe it or not, I'm nesting, too). This is the mom's first child, and as every expectant mother does, she has her set of normal fears. But I just had to share her dream with you (thanks for her permission). I remember having strange dreams while pregnant, so this one doesn't seem too far-fetched to me. I mean- weird dreams and worries- no wonder.

Anyway, the expectant mother dreamed she gave birth to...the king cake baby! And when she tried to nurse it, the little one fell down her shirt...and she couldn't find it. Oh my! Every mother's worse nightmare, or close to it. I'm just grateful she didn't swallow the little peanut.
I only wish I could reassure her that everything will be fine, but sometimes we have to learn these things for ourselves. I LOVE YOU (you know who). I'm off to buy a king cake now.

A wild "chicken" chase

I don't know what it is about our front flowerbed, but I do know it is the source of a lot of interesting stories. This one definitely tops the cat story.

I was pulling into the driveway this morning with Katie and Nicholas and Dunkin' Donuts in tow. My eyes were instantly drawn to a bird under the bird feeder. This was not a cardinal, nor a dove or even a crow. This bird was HUGE and it was plucking away at birdseed with a squirrel right next to it.

We all sat in total amazement staring at the strange bird, not a word coming from our mouths. When we finally opened the car doors, I thought the bird would fly off, but it just stood there unfazed. We got out of the car and just stood there, too. Pete finally came out to see if we had gone crazy, and I pointed frantically to the bushes and whispered "LOOK," my finger waving nonstop. By that time the bird, or CHICKEN as I soon found out (I thought it was a rooster) was waddling to the next yard.

Pete stopped and talked to a neighbor who was staring at the chicken, too. He said others had spotted the bird roaming the neighborhood lately. Sam's theory is that the bird is a Mardi Gras chicken to be caught and made into gumbo. Nicholas wanted to catch and shoot it so we could have chicken for dinner.

By the time I had my camera, Mr. Chicken was long gone, which I told Pete was good because I had never gotten so close to a real chicken before and that I was a little "chicken" about the whole thing. Plus, I did not want to go on a wild CHICKEN chase. Pete got in his car to try and find the chicken so he could take a picture for me, but he had no luck either. So if you find a chicken running around town completely lost, it probably is.

But Pete did share a chicken story with me. His father and step-mother lived in a house in New York next to a fraternity house. One morning, Joan woke up and found a baby chicken in their front yard. They ended up turning this chicken into a pet and kept it for years (in a cage in the backyard). They later found out that the fraternity had had a scavenger hunt the night before the baby chicken was found, and one of the items was a farm animal. Either nobody found the chicken, or they just decided not to keep it.

I'm not sure I could eat a chicken I found in my yard, but I know I couldn't keep it as a pet either. The dogs would go crazy...