(Some Things Will Never Be) Passé Composé

Photo by Susie Clevenger

Orange tape reflects

a line-up on County Lane;

yesterday's letters, hard to choose.

 

One stands with flap open

unwilling to wander away

from tangible SENTiments

 

like a parent waving arms,

"Come back to me,"

as the child walks down the road.

~~

Prompt inspiration- Imaginary Gardens mini-Sunday challenge (tercet)

Flourishing hypocrite

Music is the lilt in my step, the spark in my eyes. I love it. Always have, always will. I like all kinds, even mild rap (never thought I'd say that), but my favorite is Top 40.

I remember when I was in college I had a professor who loved music. He said to really understand it, you had to get submerged in the rhythm and lyrics.

"Sit in the middle of the room with the volume turned up, speakers surrounding you. Close your eyes and let the melody flourish within your soul."

At the time, I was like WEIRDO! Don't get me wrong, I have loved tunes for as long as I can remember. But he spoke as if he were having a love affair with someone named Opus.

Now I understand what he meant. I get lost in music. I dissect the words and meaning. I feel it. After all, I AM a poet.

But I'm a MOM, too; and some of today's lyrics are t-rash-y. That doesn't mean I don't like those songs. It means I don't want my kids to hear the foul language and nasty words.

So when a song comes on with R-rated vocabulary, I simply change the channel.

"Why'd you change it, Mom? We like that song."

Guess what I do? I put the song back on, but I try to start a conversation to distract them before "the word, line, etc." comes up. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Then I do the unthinkable. I turn the volume down. Do you think they get what I'm doing?

They do. The other day I heard them talking about the whole thing while we were in the car as if I weren't there. I was busted.

My rebuttal: "Well, as long as you understand those are just words. They don't mean anything."

Sometimes you just have to be a hypocrite when you're a parent.

~laurie kolp

Read more at A Whitesnake's Bite Can Be Lethal

Hurry, Hurry~ Please Don't Wait!

You know what rattles my chain? When schools refuse to test children for dyslexia until they are in the third grade. That is so wrong, and unfortunately it all boils down to money. The schools don't have the money to train the teachers, so the kids have to wait, while in the meantime the poor children start failing and losing their self-esteem. When I was the dyslexia specialist for a local school district, I did everything in my power to assure that each dyslexic child got the proper education they deserved. I also learned through my education as a reading specialist that children need early intervention so the problem can get better. If you wait until they are in second, third or fourth grade, the students have that much more to catch up on, putting them further behind. The child gets frustrated and shuts down. Discipline problems rise and they begin to hate school. So, parents out there, if you think your child may be dyslexic or is having trouble reading, please get him/her some outside testing and help before it is too late.

To Be Capable

Those children who have learned to conquer their problems are more secure than those who have never faced them. Our task as parents, therefore, is not to eliminate every challenge for our children; it is to serve as a confident ally to help them through.
~Dr. James Dobson, "Hide or Seek," p. 79

I read the above this morning and it reminded me of a lengthy class I took while teaching in The Woodlands. The class was called "Developing Capable People" and those of us taking the training met several Fridays for three hours at our school while a substitute taught our class. That is how strongly our principal felt about this concept. We all received a book, which I still own today and had Mr. K read, too (although he already felt that way), entitled, "Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World." We were also given a cute t-shirt that says "I AM Capable" with stick-figure kids on it. I was single at the time and had no children, so it was very easy for me to grasp the concept that was being taught and apply it in the classroom and to silently criticize the parents who did everything for their children. The whole pretext of the program was to allow children to do things on their own, such as making lunches or completing lengthy school projects and let them learn from their mistakes. For example, a child who accidentally leaves his/her coat at home will be sure to remember it the next time if mom or dad doesn't run it up to the school and the child has to suffer through recess without the jacket. The same goes with homework, lunches, etc. The authors of this book and program(Stephen Glenn and Jane Nelson) show how parents and educators can "teach children to be responsible and self-reliant, not through fear and intimidation, but through the maturity of feeling accountable to one's own commitments (inner-directed behavior)."

Now that I am a mother of three elementary school-aged children, I sometimes find myself wanting to be like those parents I used to criticize for doing everything for their children. I often have to bight my tongue to refrain myself from doing that. As a result, Andrew's phone number and address will not be in this year's student directory because HE did not turn the form in on time. And Katie might not get school pictures because SHE left her order form in her desk too long. They are disappointed, but guess what? I can almost guarantee that won't happen next time for either one of them. I'm proud of the teachers they have, too. They expect the kids to be responsible and if they aren't, there are consequences. For example, one of the kids had their homework in their backpack, not in their binder, and when it was time to turn it in the teacher didn't allow kids to get it from their backpacks- the work should be in their binder. So the kids who didn't have their homework where it belonged missed half of recess. And my poor child had spent hours on the homework that wasn't accepted. Part of me wanted to march up to the school and demand a conference with the teacher, but I let it go. Hopefully, next time they'll remember to put the homework where it belongs. This is how it works!

I believe this "conditioning" works as children hit the teen-age years, also (at least I'm hoping). Parents should not enable their children or bail them out of trouble all the time. How would they ever learn and grow? Hopefully when I get to that stage, I'll have the tenacity to step back and let my kids learn from their mistakes. This definitely doesn't come easy for this mother, but with Mr. K's help, I hope to stand strong.