Sinking in pebbled mud
a junkyard of memories
She stumbles upon
the truck they once shared,
speeding teen love
until drunk, he despaired.
And now she's left
sinking in pebbled mud
Prompt inspiration: Magpie Tales
, Poets United
That has such a ring of truth to it!
kind of sad, well done.
Wow! That's excellent!
I like this very much. I like the way you have repeated and inverted lines from the first stanza. Excellent work!
I really enjoyed the re-threading of the first verse in the third -- well done...
Excellent weaving of words.♥
Scarred, then marred. Rather moving take on the prompt.
sad for sure...life was so much different when we were young, until it started leaving those scars...
A sad piece, yet how many times this lesson has been learned, scarring the world and beyond.
A beautifully sorrowful write.
Laurie, I loved this. Inadvertently marred, unintentionally scarred ~ a great line.
Poignant poem that really touches me, Laurie. The song Teen Angel plays in my mind as I read it. Beautifully done.
I love "a junkyard of memories"...nice...
This is a great take on the prompt! I like the range of emotion ... traveled here.
you convey it so well.
A sad but so true tale in your poem. How often do we hear this story. So well expressed here in your repeated phrases.
That was very power-packed piece...
You have such a wealth of emotion...Superb Magpie!
I love the way you have used repetition to reinforce some of these lines. You give a second chance at digesting their meaning. Love this poem. :)
Short and neat, but very well done. Thank you.
...speeding teen love.
youth are always in such a hurry... always have been and alway will be. Very nice (tragic) write.
Sad and tragic, but such is life sometimes. Nicely written!
Here's my offering for this prompt: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/he-was-a-ford-man-2/
What a wonderfully sad story. Well composed and well written. Well done.
Well expressed sad story
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