A bevy of friends

Today I have been inundated with cardinals. It started out this morning when I heard them chirping in the backyard. I went out to sneak a peek and there they were- several red beauties singing to me. Then just a few minutes ago I went to my front window and a bright crimson male alit on my bird feeder just in time for me to see him. I then caught a movement out of the corner of my eye and spotted another male on my porch under our chair picking up left over pumpkin seeds. I sat praying and watching for a good ten minutes as the cardinals took turns going back for more and standing guard. I had to thank God for His reinforcement as I have been dealing with some very emotional issues lately. I really needed to know He was still here for me and God did just that by bringing hope and joy to me through my cardinal friends... and thus forcing me to pray (since that is what I always do when I see a cardinal). God is the ONLY ONE who will never let me down and I find comfort in knowing that.

Praying is no easy matter. It demands a relationship in which you allow someone other that yourself to enter into the very center of your being, and to see there what you would rather leave in darkness, to touch there what you would rather leave untouched. ~Henri J.M. Nouwen

ACTS Retreat and Mother's Day

WOW! This is the only way I can think to describe my wonderful, spiritual-filled weekend on the ACTS retreat. I left Thursday to go on this retreat full of anxiety and with the weight of the world (or so it seemed) on my shoulders and left Sunday morning as light as a feather (except retaining water from all the awesome food) filled with love and hope. You see, I had spent all week trying to help a sick friend, trying to take care of my family, get groceries for Ms. Angelle, worrying that I had a brain tumor or something with all that MRI mess, and the list goes on. I was tired. This retreat was just what I needed, at the right time, to rejuvinate my soul. Don't get me wrong- I did not get much sleep. They kept us up late and woke us early so that we could get everything done. But the fact I was able to get away from my stressful life, lay my burdens out and hand them over to God, made me feel as if I had gotten a great sleep. I also met some wonderful new people and made a lot of new friends. I know I have a new list of people I can call at anytime, and they will be here for me.

The above picture is my roomie for the retreat and me. God put us together for a very special reason and I feel blessed to have roomed with Kathleen. The picture below is my prayer partner, Tami. She is a wonderful, spiritual woman who has her deal of challenges in life and I admire and respect her so much. Again, I think God had a hand in matching us and I am so grateful.

Next, is what the four of us jokingly called the "LORI/LAURIE double-decker sandwich" because there were four with the same name- two of us with the spelling "Laurie" and two with the spelling "Lori"- what fun! Then, the next picture is of two dear friends that were across the hall from me- Victoria and Lori.

When I finally got to see my family at church, I was so happy to see them. I missed the kids and Pete so much! We had a great mother's day together and then went to my sister's house to celebrate some more. Below is a picture of the moms in my family- me, mom and Molly. I love them very much! I hope all you moms out there had a wonderful weekend, too.

A Wonderful Comment

I received this amazing response on my blog and wanted to share it with you. I am so grateful for this beautiful person who shared her story about cardinals with me. As I type this, I am listening to a cardinal pecking on my daughter's window. Her window is in the front of the house, next to the other big window where the birdfeeder is. These cardinals like to hang out in the big bush in front of her window and peck on the glass. It's as if these birds are saying- come on now, you can do it!

Blue Sky Vision wrote, "I don't know your Mary that many speak of on your blog. I simply am followed by a red cardinal and have been for about 2 years. I was searching on the internet as I do from time to time and found your site. About 2 years ago I was going through a horrible divorce from man so consumed with anger and evil that it was his obsession and purpose to destroy me. I was weak and alone. My faith was not strong at the time and my family not around. I was depressed and I believe suicidal for the first time in my life. Every morning and every evening for at least an hour intervals a red cardinal would try to come through my window. He would hit the window, sit on the nearby branch and come again within 10-15 seconds over and over and over again. I thought at the time "what a dumb bird." It would entertain me though and make me smile. I would tell everyone of the relentless bird. As time passed I started noticing that everywhere I went that the cardinal was there. It would dart out in front of my car while I was driving down the street every single day, It would be in a tree outsided my work window. Every single day and sometimes twice a day. I helped this little boy find his home after he walked too far and as I left the cardinal flew so close in front of me it scared me and perched himself on a fence and stared at me. When my new boyfriend who had never seen the cardinal started going to church with me, that first Sunday I told him, "Today you will see the cardinal." WIthin 5 minutes down the road there he was as bright red and beautiful as ever flying right in front of our path. I would tell people of sightings over the phone and hear a sudden shriek of "Oh My God! A cardinal just landed in front of me while you told me the story. I sware to God. God Almighty". I could go on and on and I promise on my life every word is true and it would take me an entire book to list all the miracles of around the appearance of this bird over the last 2 years. I believe the cardinal's message was to enjoy the present no matter what I am up against. Enjoy the little things and every breath of life. Don't waste one moment on fear, worry, hurt, or anger. Life is Good. And even to say "I am proud of you and love you". I am close to God now and have come such a long way in life. There are so many people hurting think there is no way out. I pray the cardinal reaches them too."

Thank you for sharing your wonderful experience. God has so many wonderous ways of providing hope to us when we are in despair. Never stop looking! I love your interpretation of the cardinal, too- enjoy each day and cherish life! I am so happy to know that other people are being touched by a cardinal, too.

The Blink of an Eye

Valentine's Day is going to be a little difficult for me to get through this year. I'll be thinking of last year's V-day. Last year, on Valentine's Day, Mary came over to my house in the morning. I was baking cupcakes for one of the kid's parties. She sat at the kitchen table and watched me. We talked. Mary wanted this day to be the first day of a new beginning for her. She wanted to work real hard on some things she was trying to overcome, especially some eating issues and she wanted my help. I was her role model- she looked up to me because we had been through a lot of the same things. We made a pact that day. I gave her a calender and she was going to mark her progress. She was so excited. Her husband texted her and told her to get home, and I found out later he had hired someone to give her a massage- what a treat.

How can things get so turned around in a month? Mary left my house on Valentine's Day with some hope- hope that she could get past her mistakes, hope that she could overcome her problems, hope that her husband loved her, hope that her children needed her and hope that maybe one day she could teach again. But she lost all that hope in a blink of an eye. Mary had no hope when she shot herself. Things aren't always like they seem...

I hope Mary knows how much she meant to me, and how I valued our friendship. I will NEVER forget that!