Valentine's Day is going to be a little difficult for me to get through this year. I'll be thinking of last year's V-day. Last year, on Valentine's Day, Mary came over to my house in the morning. I was baking cupcakes for one of the kid's parties. She sat at the kitchen table and watched me. We talked. Mary wanted this day to be the first day of a new beginning for her. She wanted to work real hard on some things she was trying to overcome, especially some eating issues and she wanted my help. I was her role model- she looked up to me because we had been through a lot of the same things. We made a pact that day. I gave her a calender and she was going to mark her progress. She was so excited. Her husband texted her and told her to get home, and I found out later he had hired someone to give her a massage- what a treat.
How can things get so turned around in a month? Mary left my house on Valentine's Day with some hope- hope that she could get past her mistakes, hope that she could overcome her problems, hope that her husband loved her, hope that her children needed her and hope that maybe one day she could teach again. But she lost all that hope in a blink of an eye. Mary had no hope when she shot herself. Things aren't always like they seem...
I hope Mary knows how much she meant to me, and how I valued our friendship. I will NEVER forget that!
A month of stress, whether mental or physical can seem like a lifetime. I'm sure Mary knew how you felt, but in the end, everything is based on our inner feelings. It may seem like all of the outside forces direct us, but in the end it all depends on us.
I am truly sorry for the lose of your friend and am believing she knew.
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